Only Mine

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

I woke up early as I did every Monday morning to the sound of a fire alarm. To be clear, I wasn't in any danger every Monday morning, aside from the normal existential crises my mind tuned into while daydreaming, but was instead referring to the tone of my alarm that had been set to mimic a fire alarm. There's nothing quit like a loud siren to wipe the drowsiness from any deep sleeper. I was, in all honestly, quite a light sleeper, but this boisterous alarm was a tactic I had stumbled upon to help jolt me free of the Monday morning blues that gripped me every time a new week would roll around and all I had to look forward to was a dangerously monotonous week of nothing. 

My name is Aisha and I was a 2nd year college student in Delhi, India. I was 19 years young but already a skeptic of life in general. I was attending one of the very prestigious universities in my country, but this did not arouse within me any great hope for the near future. In an attempt to shake off  these morbid thoughts, I launched out of bed and begun my mundane routine of getting ready for another day at college. After quickly freshening up and skipping my breakfast as per schedule, I headed out fast to catch the Metro. 

Most students attending University usually took the Metro. It was light on the wallet, air conditioned and avoided the congestive traffic that plagued all the citizens of this city. Although a more time consuming alternative, I did miss driving. I was ready to schlep an extra 15-20 minutes in the car if it allowed me to avoid being crushed by the sea of people that swarmed the Metro compartments every morning. I was lucky to find a seat on most days, and was usually standing for 40 minutes till I reached my station. I had learned that the only way I could deal being contained in such a claustrophobic enclosed space was to listen to music. Once I reach my station, I am usually hurriedly ushered into a 3-wheeler scooter by the dozens of auto drivers hounding passengers to take their auto. This was primarily a University stop, so most people getting off here were travelling to college and getting a ride from this station was the easiest task in my morning routine.

I have never visited any colleges outside of my country, but from what I had seen in American movies and on friends' Snapchat in Boston and New York, Indian colleges were on a slightly different playing field. I went to a public institution funded by the Government, and hence could not possibly match up in terms of infrastructure, human resources and technology to privately funded American universities. Besides this, almost all focus in Indian colleges was given to the acquirement of theoretical knowledge, with the understanding that one would straightaway pursue either an MBA or a CFA degree. This was one of many reasons I wasn't able to fully engage in the college spirit. 

As I enter college, I notice the broken pavement and half-constructed building that has been under progress since I first came here a year ago. I show my ID to the security guard and make my way inside the business school, music still blasting in my ears. I head towards my lecture hall where my first Statistic class is going to take place. Over the past year, I had grown accustomed to muting the crowds around me. Everyone was huddled within their respective friend groups, chatting excitedly, presumably over all the dubious weekend shenanigans. There were a few couples scattered around, trying to squeeze in a few extra moments of alone time before rushing for their first lecture. People around me seemed for the most part to be happy with the thought of being in college on a Monday morning, which was in abject contrast to my nonchalant, almost dismissive, attitude.

I walk my way towards my classroom where the walls are slowly chipping off due to poor maintenance standards and further exacerbated by the complete lack of respect most students had towards the classroom furniture. I avoid eye contact with most people, to firmly avoid any form of small talk, and head towards the one person who doesn't seem to mind my grumpy Monday morning personality.

"I thought I'd get used to dragging myself here every week, but I was wrong. I am in half a mind to turn around and head back home", I said.

My closest friend, Anna, looked up at my withdrawn face and sullen attitude and replied, "God, don't be so dramatic, Aisha. You've just come back from Diwali vacation. Is that what you people call it here? Yeah, Diwali vacation. Shouldn't you be happy? Plus I thought you'd love to come back considering this is your only escape from home", Anna said.

Anna knew why I didn't particularly like spending time at home. In fact, I mostly went out of my way to avoid being there. She was my only reprieve against being a social pariah in college. She had transferred from another college in Paris in the second half of my first year. I never quite understood why one would possibly decide to transfer from Paris to India and Anna didn't really offer much of an explanation. She was happy here, despite the extreme change in culture, language and lifestyle, and was already quite loved by the student body in general. She had chocolate brown hair that ended a few inches below her shoulder, creamy flawless skin and an aura about her that never went unnoticed by most men. She was, in one word, gorgeous. She was tall and spoke fluent English and French. I offered quite a physical contrast to her with my medium black hair, pear shaped figure and wheatish skin. I was short to make the differences even more stark.

"I am just trading one hell for another. Kind of like politics, you know? I mean, most primary candidates are different levels of evil and one is stuck picking a lesser evil because a decision is to be made. Ironically, even though we have the responsibility of making a choice, it's nothing but an illusion," I said. 

"Aren't you just a ray of sunshine today," said Anna, rolling her eyes at my predicable downtrodden and dismal view on life.

Anna was also my closest friend in college. I had other friends too but they were merely acquaintances I spoke with in dire circumstances. For example, when Anna would decide to skip college, and I was left alone to fend for myself during group work. They were an innocuous group of kind-hearted people but every time I spent time with them was another acute reminder of how out of place I felt. I felt as if everyone around me had some kind of link with each other and I was this one misfit piece just floating around trying to find a place where my jagged edges would fit in smoothly. Now that I was in my second year, I didn't exude much effort in becoming friends  with anyone because in 1 years' time I hoped to graduate and leave this part of my life in the darkest parts of my memories. 

Midway through statistics, Anna passes me a note that reads:

Let's ditch?

I smile at it. Even though we are wildly contrasting with our physical attributes, there was no denying that we both thought alike and that's what made us best friends. I turn to her and give a small nod. I had already spaced out the Statistics professor who was droning on and on about data tables and was counting the minutes till we left this place and went back to Anna's place for some trashy reality TV and good food.