The Life of Ebony Ibre

Dear Future Me

What should I do? I feel ashamed in how I've treated my enemy, but at the same time, feel justified, because of my situation. I guess calling John my enemy is a bit crude seeing what we've been through together and what I know now. Even after I grew cold towards him again, he's still here with me... But I know it's not for me. It's for Papa.

I've asked myself certain questions to help me decide what the right thing to do is... I am considering not accepting John's assistance, but the consequence of doing so is withholding me from making that decision. I really don't want his help. He's a threat to me every minute he stays here! It's really not fair. I was meant to be the Guardian! It was everything I worked and lived for! To hold that title! To carry that sword! To bare that claim!

...But I guess that all was a lie, wasn't it? Based upon everything my father wrote.

Knowing what I know now, I have no right. To anything. It appears that I have wasted my entire life trying to obtain something that wasn't even mine to begin with. The irony of it is truly unbelievable! That, that man! He isn't the snake, but that I am?! What's the point of me being alive then, if this is the truth? I should have died in my mother's arms when I was a babe, instead of living my entire life with these lies! Sacrificing so much for nothing! What's even worse is that the man I've always seen as my rival is not a bad man. In truth, the more I spent time with him, the more I saw the good in him. Even back then, though I kept fighting it, I knew he was the one.

I dare say that if we were in a different situation, we could have been friends... Or perhaps, something more. But now that will never be. It seems my hatred has taken me too far to make amends.

Why do I always do things wrong? Always get the short end of the stick? Why do I have to go through this?! Experiencing misery over and over again! And for what?! My life should have ended when I was a child, when my life was still happy, and Mama was still alive. At least then I wouldn't have to go through all this pain. What sin did I commit to make the Creator punish me like this? I just... want my suffering to end.

Since you already know how this is going to end, all of this probably seems like reading a storybook. It's times like these that make me wish I could be anywhere except the present. I hate not knowing, but I guess that's why we have faith and hope. I just ask... I pray that I will become better after this, and the pain that's been with me for years finally goes away. Give me your sympathy, Future Me, and do not look too harshly on me. Forgive me Creator and have mercy on me for what I have done and give Father the heart to also forgive me... and Johnathan as well.

Before the evening comes, I will have made my decision. No matter what that decision may be, I will do whatever it takes to save my father. And whether I am to be the Guardian of the Green Book or the only child of an herbalist and retired professor, I will risk my life for my father's safety!

My name is Ebony Ibre and this is our story, so let us make the most of it. 

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