who? (Trans Wilbur)

seven | he up and moved out

warnings: eating disorder

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Wilbur would be hauling boxes to Phil's car if he had that much stuff. He didn't, really, and he actually only had about four small boxes of things, which hadn't taken long to put away. He'd really set aside far more time than necessary to get ready for the drive to the apartment building.

Wilbur remembered that he did, in fact, have to leave, when the Doom Car's ancient horn honk echoed through the house like the cough of an old man. He flinched, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. He ran through the house quickly, skidding out to meet a tired Phil who vainly tried to push Tommy off of the horn.

Wilbur opened the passenger, elbowing Tommy's arm away. "No more horn privileges."

"No more life privileges, bitch," Tommy retorted.

"Get off my arm or I'm not letting you in the apartment," Wilbur threatened.

Tommy bared his teeth like some sort of feral animal, slumping back into his seat. He promptly got kicked by Technoblade.

"You motherfu-"

"We're here. Try not to tear each other apart until we've locked the door on Wilbur's place," Phil said, unlocking the Doom Car. "I'd like to not hear his complaints about what his neighbors think of him."

Wilbur provided an eye roll, adjusting the collar of his sweatshirt. He opened the door to the complex before his family could get into more quarrels with one another.

"Oh, are you the new resident?" a stereotypical front-desk lady asked.

"Yeah, that would be me." Wilbur threw his hands into his pockets to hide how much they fidgeted.

"Here's your key, rent's due every Sunday by midnight, have a great day!" she said. Wilbur could tell she must've said it dozens of times, as the intonation and speed was perfect with zero faltering. That, or he overthought the interaction completely.

"Thank you." Wilbur vaguely grabbed at a wrist behind him to pull his family along, but unluckily got Technoblade and therefore a firm pinch on his neck. "Hey, I was reaching for literally anybody but you! I'm sorry, Blade!"

Techno shook his head, pushing him towards the stairwell. Wilbur used the long legs he always exploited to get the front seat to climb the steps three at a time and reach the third floor long before the rest of his family.

Inside, the apartment was actually very appealing to look at. The whole room was a dark brown, a beautiful kind of wood. The lights were dark gold and in wall holders, and accented the color of the rooms perfectly. The doorknobs and hinges were painted a golden color as well, as was the provided bedspread.

"Damn. Maybe I should skip college to become a manlier man, too," Tommy mused. "This looks pretty nice, actually."

"Now I can buy all the breakfast sausage I want," Wilbur hummed.

"And you can buy bigger clothes to fit you," Phil teased. Wilbur froze.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

"I don't think that I'll need new clothes-"

"If you keep up that monstrous appetite and sweet tooth, you might," Phil pressed jokingly.

Wilbur's mind was going apeshit. It screamed, swore, and beat itself up.

"Yeah, you're right," Wilbur admitted quietly. He wanted out of this conversation. This was the reason he left home.

Wilbur saw Techno shoot him a look, but he ignored it in favor of unpacking. He decorated his desk with the small figurines he'd received on his birthday, and made sure to start setting up his PC as soon as possible. Meanwhile, Tommy breathed down his neck while he worked, at one point nearly toppling the older over as he tried to haul himself onto Wilbur's shoulders.

"Buzz off." Wilbur shrugged the smaller off. "I moved out to escape you, not to be smothered."

"Wil, you can't escape me so easily," Tommy whined. "I will appear at your fucking doorstep with puppy eyes and your big brother shit will kick in and you'll take care of me."

"Funny how you think my big brother shit won't make me want to leave you in a ditch," Wilbur replied.

"Let's leave before these two rip each other apart," Techno suggested. He grabbed Tommy's collar, hauling a kicking and screeching gremlin off of his brother.

"Sounds good. You have everything under control here, Wil?" Phil asked.

"Yep." Wilbur rocked back to study his PC. "And before you say it, yes, I'll call you if I need anything."

"Good." Phil helped Techno shove Tommy out of the apartment, and closed the door behind them.

Finally, some nice quiet. Wilbur stood up, dedicating himself to finish with the PC later. He sat on the bed, opening an app on his phone. He'd had the money set aside for the item for a while, but felt weird asking Phil if he could order it, or the man seeing him in it. He had enough for the binder and to survive, which was a pretty good thing.

He finished the order for the binder, then let out a small sigh. These little things, feeling independent and unjudged for whatever he chose to purchase with his own money, that's why he'd wanted to leave. Don't get him wrong, he loved his father so much, but it always felt like he never understood it.

Another thing that he hadn't told Phil is that he'd gotten a job at a local fast food place. It was one of those generic burger-and-fries places that also served chicken nuggets for the picky little kids. He was scheduled to start the next day.

Wilbur also isn't inherently a dumbass. He knew that a minimum wage job wasn't going to pay for everything he needed, so he also had spent a small investment on streaming equipment. He figured that if streaming worked out, he'd be a lot better off than if he tried to work at a crappy fast food place for the rest of his life. Then, he definitely wouldn't need college (or, if nothing else, would have enough to pay for it).

Unfortunately, while Wilbur isn't inherently a dumbass, he's most of the way there. Man's too overexcited to be able to finally start to socially transition that's he's ignoring his current money problems to find a gender therapist so he can get diagnosed with man and get on the sweet magic boy sauce.

That was currently beside Wilbur's main focus. He's found an appointment about a week back, and that was that. He knew he was making some admittedly pretty shitty money choices, but the prospect of being just like his brothers and his dad was far too enticing. Now he had the option and ability to be seen as the man he was by everyone he met, and didn't have to fear what Phil would say if he knew that he'd come out.

"Try it out at home first."

"We don't want to confuse everyone if this ends up not being what you want."

"It's simply not a good idea. What if someone chooses to hurt you?"

Wilbur ran his hands across his head over and over again. He knew Phil meant well. He knew why he said those things. That didn't mean it hadn't hurt him, or made him distrust the older man in his pursuit of himself. He knew Phil would understand eventually, but Wilbur knew, he knew, with his entire self, that this was who he is. He wanted to show that to the world, not to have to fake up a mask, only to take it off again and fear being hurt for it. He wanted to start and end as a man in everyone's eyes.

Was that too much to ask for?

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1.3k words

he up and left