Metamorphosis [H.S]

intro

Being someone's everything was always a scary idea to me. To have someone completely give you every singular part of them, and to be expected to return that notion back.

Maybe it wasn't even scary, just a foreign feeling I had never felt or dwelled on. A feeling so unfamiliar that it was pushed to the farthest part of my mind.

But walking around Jersey that night, the moon shining down on me, fingers intertwined with that foreign feeling of being someone's everything, I felt your gentle squeeze on my fingers and all my worries disappeared as if they never existed. but there you were, making it seem as if every doubt i ever had was a work of fiction i had created in my head.

It was you. You were that undeniable, alienated feeling of being protected and loved constantly. You were new and something good. You broke down all those walls of fear, fear of being unlovable and abandoned. Being your everything was far from scary, it was comforting.

You always called me a butterfly, your butterfly. You always said I was constantly changing and evolving, and that all the best people didn't stay stagnant. You called me a name so delicate and beautiful, but yet so powerful and meaningful. You didn't plan to watch me grow into this person, someone who wasn't scared of love or being loved, or even being in love. You just loved me and that's all I ever wanted from you.

My love for you was a metamorphosis H, I transitioned from being scared to love you, to begging at your door to feel that love, even for a second, even if it hurt. Even if you believe all the best people evolve, I would have done anything to stay the same. To be the same person scared of being someone's everything. To be someone as naive to think that loving you was a choice. To not believe in that earth shattering, heart fluttering, metamorphic love that got us to this point.

But I guess this is a part of the process. I have to shed my skin to become the beautiful butterfly you always imagined me as. I have to unlearn how to choose you over and over again, I have to unteach the subtle way you made a foreign feeling feel so natural.

This is my metamorphosis and I owe it all to you, baby.