Tidal Pools and Stars

Chapter 5

June 16

6 a.m

"What do you want, Dream? Don't say me because I know that's not true."

"But I do want you?"

She laughed. "No. You don't. One more time, Dream, tell me what it is you want."

Your name was on my tongue. "I already told you," I said and I moved to her to wrap her in my arms and pull her in close to my chest. It didn't feel right. It didn't feel natural like it did with you when we hugged at the airport for the first time. "I want you."

"I don't believe you," she had said. And you know something?

I don't think I believed myself either.

The sand sinks beneath Dream as he walks, kicking up the saltwater and marching through the strong pull of the incoming wave as he kept his eyes down. After summers on the beach, his eyes fall back into a natural scanning motion as he looks at the pale pinks of seashells and the shiny browns of a shark tooth. Another wave hits his ankle and seafoam covers the beach treasures up.

It's dumb to think that, I know. You don't have to tell me. But listen- at that moment, I didn't understand why your name itched the back of my throat and I didn't even think about why I was comparing you to her. You were across the ocean and she was right there. She was giving me everything I could've wanted, but I always felt like I was missing something. I told you about that fight. You said that I said the right thing even though I knew I didn't because I lied.

I lied to her. I lied to you.

Dream lets out a long breath and lifts his eyes to the sun peeking out over the horizon. The sun bleeds a deep gold in the clear water as it pushes back the inky color of night. Dream couldn't sleep. Every time he shut his eyes and drifted off, he was haunted with the electrifying memory of George's glowing eyes looking at his lips and his mind would wander down the What if... path.

What if we did kiss? Dream remembered thinking. The word made him blush like a middle schooler. What would have you done?

Dream's mind would carry him through George's warm, wet hands on his jaw and then their lips brushing. He would picture George's fingers tangled in his hair as Dream's hands pulled his friend in closer with teeth gnashing and fluttering touches on each other's collarbones. Dream's cells would pop and fizz at the thought and he knew it was dangerous to walk down that path, but God- he was curious. The moment was there. The further Dream went down the What if... path, the more his stomach curled and the more he breathlessly grabbed at the hotel sheets with sweaty hands.

So when the sun came up, Dream threw the sheets off himself, tugged on his hoodie, and marched right out of the resort and down to the beach.

I am so sorry, Dream apologized to George in his head.

"I am so sorry, Dream," you had said to me when I gave you the news. "That sucks."

"Yeah," I breathed out, "it does."

"I mean, it's her loss, right? You tried."

Did I try though? Dream couldn't remember. She was great. She cared about me and she supported me in whatever I did, but...

"What? What do you mean you're not coming?" I said to her.

"Look, Dream, he's your friend, not mine. Go meet him. Go do your thing. I don't care."