i suppose
that there was a time
when i could've ruled the world
when i could've been the better person
when i could've been the person for that one person
when there could be a person like that for me
but
the harsh reality
is that
it could've been possible
if i were to do that one thing
if i were to prevent that one thing
if i were to continue something
and i kick myself
everyday
wondering what could've been
fame?
success?
happiness?
something worthwhile?
something worth living for?
because
here i am
sitting on the couch in the living room
surrounded by coffee mugs
and dirty dishes
and laundry that needs to be folded
and the blinds are closed
and the bills on the countertop
head in my hands
stripped and
bare and
so
vulnerable
the displeasure of the life that's being lived
coursing through my veins
bags the size of cities no longer awake
no longer living
fantasies of my life could've been
the fullness of the moon
under my eyes
as if
if they were to be pricked by a pin
all of my problems
physical
emotional
financial
would come falling out
piece by piece
and examined
and judged
and seen through
a microscopic-rose coloured
lens
everything is a red flag
