What Am I Now?

ch6

Hayley sat on the floor, Elijah's freezing, broken and bloody body in her hands. He looked so tired, so done with the world, his eyes we're damp with the tears he had cried, they were shut closed. His pale skin made all the blood on his body seem darker . Hayley could feel the warm blood on her hands. Elijah was barely breathing. He was shivering. Hayley put her hand on his bare torso. She was feeling so guilty. It was all her fault, she was thinking to herself. Jackson was seeing all this from the circle beside theirs. His body was made immovable by a witch. There wasn't a scratch on him . No one could enter and leave either circles without the help of a witch. She knew that if the roles were reserved, Elijah would die before letting anything happen to her. She knew he loved her, everyone did. He tried to hide it, but he cared too deeply, too passionately. She had always felt unloved and alone, Elijah made her feel so special. She knew he couldn't say how he felt. He was always so afraid of losing her. He was a self sacrificing martyr, he had always been. Hayley couldn't tell her she loved him too, she couldn't be with him. Elijah laid in her arms, her warmth drew him. Her hands were on his back wounds, healing at literally no pace, probably a witch's spell to slow it down, it was hurting him but he felt so much more comfortable with her, he was unknowingly scooting closer to her. She made the pain become so much more mild. All of a sudden, Elijah's lips parted, he was panicking, his diaphragm expanding, lungs felt breathless , he couldn't breathe . He was shaking vigorously. His nose was bleeding. Hayley was so scared "Elijah? ..Elijah ! I'm here, please calm down. Everything is fine, breathe.. Breathe, please.. Please don't leave me.. Please " Elijah couldn't even listen to anything. He was in some hell of his own. His struggle ended , blood came out of his mouth, he was already almost drained , Hayley was still trying to calm him down rubbing his bare chest softly trying to calm him down. He felt her soft hands on his chest he felt comfort. He felt warmth flooding. He felt his heart filling with love. He felt betrayed , but still couldn't help but love hayley, her touch, he craved her, her affection, her love... All he wanted was her love, yet he never said anything, he couldn't be that selfish, he opened his eyelids with so much effort that he almost passed out again. Hayley caressed his face with her hands, covered in blood. Oh! how much he loved her, he missed her touch so much. He didn't know that his last day would be this one. He was never scared, yet today... He was. "Hayley..." He croaked with his dehydrated bloody lips. "I'm here, don't worry, I'm with you" "Are you going to kill me..? " Tears were flooding his eyes, he had never looked so helpless. Hayley was full of guilt. She pitied him, hell! she pitied herself. She didn't want to be the reason of his death, but she couldn't let Jackson die. "No.. Elijah please hold on.. I'm here, I'm with you" She said, tears running down her cheek . Elijah didn't know what happened, if it was the werewolf venom in his body or the amount of vervain running through his veins, or
the fact that he was so dehydrated and so drained of blood, the whips, the lashes, or the extremely slow healing, he said something he regretted just a second later, "Hayley please help me, everything hurts, I'm scared ..please don't kill me.. " He sobbed. He was being selfish, he thought to himself. He opened his lips to say " I'm sorry I didn't mean it" but blood squirted out of his mouth preventing him to speak. He didn't have the strength , neither did he have the courage. He just held Hayley's hand close to his chest drawing whatever warmth he could get from her. He felt like he was dying every second of this miserable day. Hayley fought back tears and didn't know how to answer that. Elijah, a strong willed person, pride was a big thing for him. He was pleading today for her,now for himself, he was so helpless. All hayley wanted to do was hold him, hug him, kiss him, tell him it'll all be alright, tell him she loves him , he was looking at his lifeless painful face . He was crying bloody tears, the whole body was so soaked in blood , in wounds. He was whimpering, like a little child. He was bare and cold. He was shrunken in Hayley's arms. He was shivering, exhaling painfully. He was half unconscious. Coughing blood on intervals . Lucien was smirking cruelly during wll this, " The offer to switch is still up, if you at all care about him, I doubt you do " He laughed sadistically . Elijah let out a groan in pain. Hayley was so lost in thought, "Elijah.. " He looked up, he wanted to know her answer, he felt selfish about it but still, wanted to know. "Please understand.. I - I can't let Jackson die." Elijah had hopeless tears in his eyes, for some reason , he knew it was stupid and selfish. He now went numb, tears running down his cheek. Lost somewhere. "I'm sorry Elijah -i-" " Enough! " Lucien barked, grabbing Elijah by the neck , strangling and choking him. Elijah struggled for breath. He no longer had the will to live, a few moments of struggle, and then he gave in. He couldn't take it anymore, he felt like dying would be easier, less painful , more peaceful.