stay for me // karlnap

Chapter 1: the plan

⚠️TW: mention of suicide, mention of self harm, mention of eating disorder ⚠️

Words: 3307

It was all planned out. Every detail of it Karl made sure that no one would come looking for him that night. I mean would anyone even care? It didn't feel like it to Karl. He felt stupid for taking so much time and effort into planning it out if no one even cared. Karl was an over thinker but what made it worse was that he was right about everything he overthinks about. He always saw everything that came his way. Even though it wasn't a surprise it still hurt like hell.

Karl had been planning this for a while now. He had been struggling for way too long and he wanted to get better he really did but he had no way of getting support from anyone since his parents always said he had nothing to be upset about and said he's making everything up for attention. That was the part that hurt the most. His own parents didn't believe him. They didn't believe him about anything he told them. Karl wondered why they hate him so much but then he remembered. He deserves it. He didn't know what he did to deserve it but he did, he felt he deserves everything that was given to him. He must've done something terrible to deserve this.

Even though he planned out everything he wasn't gonna do it yet. For some stupid reason he still had hope. Hope that everything would be okay in some way. He was so stupid to believe that. He always tried to believe that things would get better but everything always seemed to get worse and worse for him. He was loosing hope. Maybe this world just isn't built for him. That's what it seemed like to him.

He was hanging on by a thread. A very thin thread that would easily become broken soon.

"KARL GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUT OF YOUR BED AND GO TO SCHOOL." His mom screamed from downstairs as Karl was shaken awake from the screaming.

He sat there for a second debating if he should take the screaming or just go to school. He was about to go back to bed but then remembered that today was the day he was gonna leave everybody. Karl had a few friends that he liked but felt like they didn't like him for some reason. Everyone seemed to have so much more fun without him. Or that's what he thought. He still wanted to say goodbye to them because maybe just maybe they cared a little bit. They didn't seem like they cared when Karl had texted them before but then again that could've just been Karl overthinking every single word they say.

Karl stared at the ceiling just trying to make the feeling of himself drowning pass but it didn't pass and it hasn't for a while. He has tried many things to try and make this feeling go away even having his soft thighs bleed a red color out of them but that only made it better in the moment. It never lasted long enough for his liking. That's why he needed to do something about it. Get rid of this feeling for good. Making it so he doesn't feel anything anymore. A dark paradise as he liked to refer to it.

He tried taking a deep breath but the constant heavy feeling in his chest stopped him from being able to calm down enough. Without even trying a tear fell down Karls soft cheeks running down his face. He felt empty like there was a hole in his chest that he needed to fill. Everything in his life making the hole bigger and bigger making him feel more and more alone.

He quickly wiped away his tear when he heard foot steps coming near his door. He sat up and saw the shadow of big heavy shoes  stopped at the foot of his door making Karls anxiety rise. He didn't know what his dad would do or say to him it was always a surprise with him. He felt his anxiety lift when he saw the shadow slowly leave the foot of his door indicating that he had left. Karl let out a heavy sigh as he moved himself to sit at the edge of his bed. He sat there for a second before getting up and ready for the day.

Even though he wasn't planning on seeing these people anymore he didn't care what he looked like. If he was being honest the last thing on his mind was what he was wearing, he didn't care. He picked out black sweatpants and a sweater to go with with. If he was being honest it was the first thing he saw in his closet and didn't think twice about picking it out.