nicotine [larry] (slow updates)

zero

"At first glance, they look normal, sometimes even super-normal, holding down high pressure jobs and excelling. But they walk a constant tightrope between madness and sanity, unable to form relationships, incapable of achieving insight. Never free from a deep, corroding sense of worthlessness and rage that spills over, inevitably, into self destruction."

Some, like him, are chronically depressed, determinedly addicted, living from one emotional disaster to the next. Wanting nothing more than to place a cigarette between their lips, toxicate the air, and poison their already blackened lungs once more. Just to smoke that sorry stick of happiness and relief could filter away their stress and sorrows.

And he, he was like the rest of them. His pursed lips would seep angelic smoke and inhale it again, like it was secondhand death. His day was filled with the same cycle: eat, pose, smoke, sleep, repeat.

His ego was fragile like spun sugar, and his psyches irretrievably fragmented, like a jigsaw puzzle that was missing crucial pieces. He would play roles with alacrity, excel at being anyone but himself, crave intimacy but repel it when they find it. I could fool them all he thought. With a simple strut and faked conceite, just turn his chin up and teens everywhere would go wild, wanting the confidence he has. A simple pose and glance at the camera which would capture the image of his pretty face would make him hundreds and thousands of dollars. But none of that would mean anything if he didn't have a cigarette to keep him sane.

And everyone wants to know, who is this boy on the front cover? What's his story? Where can I find him? But those people are broken, just like him. And just like magnets, similar sides repel, he'd push them away. One heartbroken person after the other, his only friend; the nicotine induced stick between his fingertips.

Everyone needs at least one friend to keep them sane if they're going to be locked up, or isolate themselves for good. Louis Tomlinson has built up his walls, his barriers, for many years. His walls stood tall, powerful, indestructible like his addiction, pushing away anyone who dared try to break it down. He brought one friend inside his walls. Yes, a friend indeed, who he holds near and dear to his stone cold and oppressive heart.

A cigarette.

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author's note: I hope you all enjoy this story, I'm very excited to be writing it :)

Most chapters will be done on my phone, so there may be a few grammatical errors, please excuse them. Also, there may be offensive and sexual language in this story, so if that makes you uncomfortable I suggest you skip this book.

I am working very hard on this story, so please don't take anything without asking for permission. Happy reading!

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