Sometimes I look at you and I think "you're so beautiful" and then I wonder, would you think the same if you looked at me? But I don't suppose that would really matter when I'm so stupidly whipped that I would be just as pleased if you so much as looked at me. You're just so sweet to me. Sometimes I feel like I could cut all my hair off and take up smoking and kiss you on the lips without asking and you would just laugh and tell me I'm cool. You thought everything I did was cool. I still can't believe we were intimidated by each other. You are attractive and funny and stylish and so good to everyone and you have such a fantastic mind and you confide in me and and and. I am just a small thing with frizzy hair and odd colors who can't manage to look you in the eye. I was wondering if you would think I could be a good mother. I've been starting to doubt my maternal abilities and I'm convinced that your validation would solve that. It's probably not healthy to think like that. People always say to be happy by ourselves and find strength ourselves and that we shouldn't rely on others for our value and that we are whole on our own and partners are meant to compliment us not complete us but I really couldn't care less about any of that. I am lonely and I miss you the moment you look away and I haven't felt complete since the beginning of my memories so screw that I want you to tell me I'm pretty and I want to believe it. Yeah, that's not healthy. But that's fine. You might even think it's cute, you think all my flaws are silly and small. And you're just so sweet to me. You probably wouldn't have the heart to call me clingy, probably wouldn't even think I was clingy. I need you to love me no matter what. I know you would love me no matter what.
