Loneliness. The only thing I'm familiar with in my life. I've had lost the purpose to live. You never realize how lonely you are when you have so much to talk abt but no one to listen other than these four walls. My words are so loud in my brain. Bu...
Hey guys! Well this my first story. So forgive me for any mistakes and especially grammar mistakes as English isn't my first language. So hope you like it ♡.
"Being alone is good but being lonely is the worst"
Listen to lost by ollie while reading this. That's what I did while writing this.
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Aiden pov
I let my hands go along with the brush.
Pain. Loneliness. Darkness.
That's what I felt while I drew in the canvas. I didn't know what I was initiating when I drew this but I just went with it. These brushes and paints are my only antidote these days and I just needed to vent from all this. It's the only way I can communicate. The canvases understand me more than anyone could ever, it helps to me vent from my thoughts.
I heard my phone blowing up a text from my only friend suggesting me another new therapist for me to visit. "Shit" I murmured to myself as I just let him on seen. Luke is my colleague and a good friend of mine but he doesn't get me. He isn't sensible to just understand that nothing is wrong with me and I'm just an introvert who has a hard time communicating and with a lot of trust issues. Is sighted to myself. But he does give me my space and doesn't pressurise everything. He has a great personality and a happy nature. And I really appreciate his help but I just don't need therapy that's all I'm saying.
I wanted to actually to talk to someone who is not a therapist who doesn't actually give a damn about what you feel. I've tried so therapists but it just doesn't work for me when I knew they just here for the payment. These years just made me understand that having anything you want and even when you have everything is not the true happiness.
PlayStation is fun and time flies but something is missing. I love my apartment,the interior designing is amazing but there's still a void that needed to be filled. Maybe some flowers in the vase? Nah it's something else. The family picture next to the vase caught my eye. I really do miss them. I wanna make them feel proud of me and not be compared to my elder brother. I studied what they wanted me to.
I'm working in a good environment and good salary but again a void. I've thought that making people around me happy would be the solution but it made me feel more hopless.
"A person who tries to keep everyone happy Often ends up the lonelinest"
I sighted as I got up and walked up to the balcony. Opening the doors and the smell of rain hits me, walking closer to the bars and letting the rain kiss my skin. Inhaling deeply, listening to the rhythm of the rain.
This is enough for me to survive for one more day.
"God! I give up. Talking to you is like talking to a wall"
"Okay! You are just as boring people mentioned"
"Why are so uhm.. like soo quiet?"
"You can talk to me you know. I'm here for you" yeah that was a lie.
All people around me do is lie. The only they care about is my money and wealth. Which I'm ready to give up. Atleast then people won't approach me with expectations.
Am I gonna start hoping on someting that isn't gonna happen and then as always get hurt? Well there's isn't hope anymore.
After I came out the trance I sighted as I walked backed into the apartment. Closed the doors of the balcony and walked backed inside to the mess I have created in the name of painting.
I groaned and threw myself onto the couch in my damped clothes and ruining the couch but right now. I don't give to damns about it. Atleast not right now.
I heard music blasting above my celling. Great! They are blasting loud music again. But atleast it's not those rock and roll type of music. It was a classical and soft genre. Which I don't mind to be honest.
They have great music choice. But I don't even know who lives there anyways. Never cared either. Mainly because I like my space.
I hummed along with the melody as sleep took over me.
