Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
26 September
Dear Diary,
I'm sorry it's taken so long and I can't really explain why I haven't written - except that there are so many things I'm afraid to talk about, even with you.
First, the most horrible thing happened. The day Mikey, Jack and I were at the cemetery, an old man was attacked and almost killed there. The police still haven't found the person who did it. People think the old man was crazy because when he woke up he started raving about "eyes in the dark" and oak trees and other things. But I remember what happened that night, and I wonder. It frightens me.
Everyone was scared for a while, and all the children had to stay inside or go out in groups after dark. But it's been about three weeks now and there have been no more attacks, so the excitement has died down. Auntie Reese says it must have been another tramp who did it.
But what concerns me most is Plan B. As far as it goes, it's going well. I've had several letters and a bouquet of red roses from "Jean-Claude" (Jack's uncle is a florist), and everyone seems to have forgotten that I was ever interested in Rye. So my social position is secure. Even Sonny hasn't caused any trouble.
In fact, I don't know what Sonny is doing these days, and I don't care. He is no longer to be seen at lunch time or after school; he seems to have completely removed himself from his old environment.
There is only one thing I am thinking about at the moment. Rye.
Even Mikey and Jack don't know how important he is to me. I'm afraid to tell them; I'm afraid they'll think I'm crazy. At school I wear a mask of calm and control, but on the inside -.
well, every day it just gets worse.
Auntie Reese has started to worry about me. She says I haven't been eating enough lately, and she's right. I can't concentrate on classes, not even something fun like the Haunted House benefit. I can't focus on anything but him. And I don't even understand why.
He hasn't spoken to me since that awful afternoon. But I'll tell you something weird. Last week in history class, I looked up and caught him looking at me. We were sitting a few seats apart and he was sitting sideways at his desk just looking. For a moment I felt almost scared and my heart started pounding and we just stared at each other - and then he looked away. But it's happened twice more since then, and each time I've felt his eyes on me before I saw him. That is the literal truth. I know it's not my imagination.
He's not like any other boy I've ever known.
He seems so isolated, so lonely. Even though it's his own choice. He made quite a hit on the football team, but he doesn't hang out with any of the boys, except maybe Brooklyn. Brooklyn is the only one he talks to. He doesn't hang out with any boys either, as far as I can see, so maybe the Narc rumour is doing some good. But it's more like he's avoiding other people than they're avoiding him. He disappears between classes and after football practice, and I've never seen him in the cafeteria. He has never invited anyone to his room at boarding school. He never visits the coffee shop after school.
