Blossoming Fissure | Tanjirou Kamado

13. Strange and messy families

She would have been lying if she had ever said, in any way or form, that she wasn't scared.

The fear of the unknown, of the thousand paths this could go down through, attacked Ayaka's heart in giant waves that paralyzed her as she walked through the corridors of the Butterfly Estate. She took a moment, feeling the cold sweat slowly slid down her back, and then she continued walking with a sigh, bringing both hands up to her chest, where her heart was beating with a surprising speed.

Ayaka went through that process a few more times, walking a dozen steps, abruptly stopping, and then, after a few seconds of thought, continuing until she reached the garden.

And like something that came back after a long time, like the soldier that met again with their parent after a war or the adult that once again found that part of them that never stopped being a child, Ayaka was back home.

"Mother!" She didn't believe to have ever called her like that before, and she was surprised by the formality of the expression.

Always trying to help, always trying to be kind, her mother was busy taking care of the laundry in the garden. When hearing her voice, she turned around in surprise.

With a strength that came from somewhere she didn't know and the determination of a mountain (maybe this was what Kanao meant) Ayaka walked firmly to where her mother was.

She was surprised, staring at her with eyes wide open. Ayaka kneeled and her forehead touched the floor.

"A... A-chan?" she wondered in doubt. Ayaka only bent forward more, hands against the grass with such delicacy she could have been a sweet maiden of long hair from the Sengoku Era.

"I'm sorry mother. I beg for you to forgive me," she started, loud and clear. A thin veil of tears appeared on her eyes but she wouldn't spill even a single one of them, she wasn't the victim here, nor did she want pity. "I've been a horrible daughter and I haven't supported you like I should have. I beg of you, please, forgive me for everything I've done."

"A-chan," her mother tried again, but Ayaka suddenly cut her off.

"I'm not finished," she said, leaning her forehead on the grass just a bit more. "Kaori Iwamoto, you, along with my father, are the strongest people I know. You stayed on your feet despite everything and you were always kind and generous." Her voice softened. "It's an honour to be the daughter of such incredible people."

She waited for an answer, Sun making sweat drip down her cheek. Ayaka heard her mother sigh.

"You didn't have to make this such a big deal," she said, sounding even tired. "Coming back is enough."

Ayaka got up in a whim with fists at both sides of her waist. Maybe before all of this she would have believed her, but experience has made her wiser and her sight was now sharper. Her mother lied about a lot of things, she could see through every single one of them.

"Mother, stop with the nonsense." She waited for a moment, carefully inspecting until the last one of her features. No, she wasn't able to see through it all, but still through much more than before. "I made you cry."

"That's not," her mother staggers, whispering, "important."

"I left you alone in a village that hated you... you and dad." Her heart trembled at the thought. "I didn't reply to your letters or even thanked you for the presents, so I'll never, never," the devil's eyes looked the more determined they ever had when Ayaka took a stronghold on both of her mother's hands, "never fail to take proper care of you, nor will I ever abandon you. I'll give you what you deserve, I promise."