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1

Sleeping out of the van was turning out to be even more heinous than usual for Bill and Ted. It was cold, uncomfortable, and not to mention, they had too much equipment now to work their sleeping bags into the mix and not find themselves in danger of breaking something.

It was Ted who had suggested, with the utmost of enthusiasm, "Dude, let's totally rent an Airbnb!" Obviously, Bill agreed.

So here they were at the cheapest Airbnb they could find within Oregon during their first out-of-state tour. It was one flat story with a completely open space, not including the bathroom or the strange, locked door.

The host didn't ask too many questions and didn't require much of a background check, just told them not to head into the basement and everything would be fine. Don't worry about the noises, don't ask for him if something went wrong. No refunds, either, if they didn't stay the whole week.

It was most unsettling, to say the least.

"Yeah...," Bill hummed, nodding as he looked around. "This can't be that bad, right?"

"Yeah!" Ted agreed, nodding. "Plus, I'm sure he totally set us up with some excellent refreshments!" He strode over to the fridge in the open-space kitchen and threw it open, only to find that the only "refreshments'' were jars of an indescribable liquid. "Or not..."

"Well, maybe he left us some food!" Bill said, and headed towards the cabinets. All he found were different jars of things he didn't want to know the origin of. "Well, we can always just order food." They shared a look with each other before Ted spoke.

"Pizza?"

"Pizza."

After ordering pizza and promptly inhaling the whole thing in under ten minutes, it was almost midnight. There was only one bed (typical) and once the lights were off, they found themselves in almost complete darkness (atypical).

"Dude, this place is most terrifying," Ted huffed as he slipped into the single bed, hanging close to the edge. Bill shrugged, though it was unseen.

"Ted, it's just an Airbnb," Bill reasoned as he got into the other side of the bed, a generous amount of space between them. "Besides, we have been ghosts before. I do believe we'd be able to reason with one." Ted went silent for a moment before he looked over at Bill in the dark and nodded.

"'night, duder," they said in unison, turning away and shutting their eyes.

Not an hour later did Ted wake up to a most egregious feeling in his gut. Bill was, somehow, still asleep, but Ted just knew that something was wrong.

"Dude," Ted whispered, tapping Bill on the shoulder. Bill jolted awake suddenly, looking over. "Dude, I've got a most non-triumphant feeling."

"What?" Bill mumbled. "Dude, you're not still talking about this place being terrifying, are you?"

"Bill, I'm totally serious. Something's wrong." Bill groaned and twisted to turn on the bedside lamp, only to find it lacking power.

"Wait here," Bill said as he stood up from the bed, navigating his way through the darkness until he got to a drawer. He fished out a flashlight and turned it on before pointing it at Ted. "See, dude? There's nothing-"

As Bill flicked the flashlight around and immediately screamed. Mostly because there was a frightening message on the wall, written in what looked like fresh blood.

"GET OUT OR DIE, BILL AND TED"

Ted joined in his screaming and jumped out of bed to stand beside Bill, not wanting to be alone.

"Dude," Bill whispered. "I must give you my most sincere apologies for not believing you. This Airbnb is definitely haunted."

A crash rang out behind them and they turned in unison, shining the flashlight ahead.

"Dude, what do we do?" Ted whispered then, and Bill swallowed. "Should we try talking to it?"

"Uh..." Bill squared his shoulders with what little confidence he could muster, and called out, "Hey, uh... Ghost dude? Look, we sincerely apologise for invading your space, but we didn't, y'know...know that you were living here. But, if you don't mind, could we still hang out for the rest of the night?"

The room was silent for a few long moments before a screech rang out and the two screamed once more, rushing towards the front door, only to find it locked.

"Dude, we're totally trapped!" Bill said as he struggled with the door handle. Ted turned around and a thought ran through his mind.

"Hey, Mr. Ghost Dude!" he called out. "We totally understand the whole undead thing! But you should totally, like, not kill us! We're excellent friends with Death and I'm sure he'll totally send you up to heaven if you tell him we vouched for you!"

Bill stopped struggling with the door and looked over at Ted in the dark, nodding.

"Yeah, dude!" Bill joined in with Ted's idea. "I mean, we've totally been in your ghost shoes! We are most understanding of your unprecedented predicament!"

Both of them were hoping that maybe, possibly, the ghost would understand and leave them alone, at least for the night.

Finally, the door handle turned and the wood slammed open, an enormous gust of wind blowing them out of the entire place before shutting itself with a bang.

The two stared up from where they'd fallen on the pavement, hearing a faint whisper of an unintelligible voice.

"Dude," Bill huffed, "that was definitely non-non-non-non-heinous."

"Agreed, Bill," Ted agreed, gulping. He looked over. "Let's just sleep in the van again."

"And maybe park somewhere else."

"And never, ever come back to this odious place."

After a moment, they stood up and headed to the van, thankful that they hadn't unpacked anything yet. Bill started up the engine and peeled out before Ted even had a chance to buckle himself. As Bill drove, Ted spoke up.

"Dude, you were totally scared," he found himself teasing. Bill rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, Ted," he mumbled.

"Like, remember when we were in Hell and your totally heinous grandma chased us?"

"Shut up, Ted!"