The Alpha's Melded Mate

The One Where Cyn Comes Clean

From the moment I stepped up to the front door after leaving Abbi, I had no idea what to tell my mom. So, instead of going inside, I had decided to take a run instead, which obviously meant that I had to take a shower. 

Which of course had to be followed up by drying my hair... only to be followed by standing in front of the closet pretending to decide what to wear for who knew how long, just to pick out the first thing my hands touched anyway.

And I still had no idea what I was going to say. 

Of course, I could keep stalling. There had to be something else that I could do, maybe even get a started on next year's school work. But, no. The fact that I hadn't told her about anything up through this point was already hard enough. We were pretty open with each other. So why was this so hard?

Instantly, I knew why. 

I felt like I was betraying both her and my father. No matter what I chose, someone would end up hurt. 

I took a deep breath and went downstairs. My mom was already in the kitchen getting ready to start dinner. She didn't even notice me at first as she gathered all the ingredients and cookware she would be needing. My legs trembled with the urge to turn back. 

"Oh, there you are!"

No chance now.

"Yes," I said as I stepped up to the island in the kitchen, "here I am." I tapped my fingers on the marble counter top. 

My mother turned around, hands on hips, her hair pulled messily up to the top of her head. "Honey, what's wrong?"

Of course she could already tell. 

"Can you sit for a minute? I want to talk to you about something." I pulled out the stool and walked around to the other side. 

My mother's eyebrows furrowed as she went around to sit on the stool. "Honey, you're worrying me."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 

"You know that I looked through the books Dad left behind. I've been out practicing with Abbi and on my own, finding out what I can do and learning how to do it well." I looked up at her. Her face was expressionless. 

"The thing is, I'm actually pretty good at it. Like really good, and I'm only getting better. I've sort of been considering becoming a Mentalist like he was. I haven't decided if I will stay here or go somewhere else yet. That sort of ties into the other thing that I wanted to talk about."

I kept my eyes down on the counter top, my fingers tapping against the surface again. I didn't even give her a chance to respond. 

"I have recently discovered that Neal Stryker is my mate." That was when I stopped rambling.

My mom looked across the counter at me. "Then why are you not sure on whether or not you will be staying here?"

I blinked, stunned by her response. "What do you mean?"

"Sweetheart, you have to use your gifts; there's no doubt about that. I would think knowing Neal is your mate would make deciding whether to stay or leave easier."

"So you think I should leave." I started to chew on my nail. 

"That is not what I said, honey." Her voice was strong. 

"What do you mean, ma? What happened to Dad-"

My mother shook her head, cutting me off. "What happened was not Neal's fault. You cannot blame him for choices made before his time." 

"But, Ma-"

"Only you can decide what you are able to get past, but this is a decision that can only be made by you. I would be a hypocrite if I told you who you should love. You must look within and go with your heart. If your heart chooses Neal, then be with him."

I let out a shaky breath. "But what if he doesn't choose me?" Tears burned at the corners of my eyes. 

"Oh, honey." My mom came around the corner and wrapped her arms around me. "Is there something else going on?"

I quickly swiped the backs of my hands along my eyes before filling her in on the rest of what had unfolded between Neal and me, and the predicament we found ourselves in.

"Well, Cynthia, it sounds like you both have some discussing to do and decisions to make. The only input I will give is that walking away from becoming melded mates is not something to be taken lightly."

"Melded mates?" Something about the term seemed familiar, but I couldn't think of what it meant. 

"Mates are a gift from the goddess, to have someone to be with you through it all."

"Ma, I know all that."

"Hush," she shushed me. "Will you just listen for a moment." She sat back down in her chair. 

"Mates are a gift from the goddess, but Alphas are rarely granted this gift. When an Alpha chooses to accept his mate, and she chooses to accept him back, they go through the merging ceremony. While all mates can do this, for most it just brings the souls closer together. Mates who merge report feeling more connected with their partner than ever before.

"When it comes to an Alpha and his mate, the merging ceremony is quite literal. It was once a practice reserved only for Alpha's and their mate, but over time became common place for Alpha marriage ceremonies, and ceremonies between other mated pairs. Once an Alpha and his mate complete the merging ceremony, their souls will merge together. They will be more in tune with their partner, more aware of their needs, desires, and their dreams. They will become the only other person in the world capable of completing each other."

I crossed my arms over my stomach. 

"I'm guessing you need some time to think and talk things over. If you have any questions, you know I'm always here for you, but ultimately this is between the two of you." She stood from her spot and came around to hug me again, kissing the top of my head before she started to work on making food. 

I stood there for a few moments, staring at the counter while my mind raced. 

"I think I need to go out for a bit. If I'm not back by the time food is done, can you please put it in the microwave?"

"Just this once."

I turned to her and managed a smile. "Thank you, ma. I love you."

"I love you too. Now you hurry on."

I nodded and grabbed a jacket and headed out. 

There was only one place I needed to be, I needed to see Neal. I needed to hold him. 

The talk seemed to leave me with more questions than answers. Not to mention the uncertainty. In order to make this work, we both had to want it. If I didn't know where I stood, I couldn't possibly expect Neal to know. 

When I got to Neal's house, I went around to his bedroom window and tapped on the glass. 

I held my breath for a few moments until he came into view, and I gasped. He wasn't wearing a shirt, his sweatpants were hanging low on his hips, and hair mussed. He looked through the glass, eyes wide, and I motioned for him to come outside. 

Neal held up a finger and grabbed something before walking out of his room. 

I waited a few moments in the growing dimness as the sun set, my breath catching when Neal came back into view as he rounded the corner. 

It was hard to imagine walking away from someone when they had that kind of effect on you. Was this a sign that we should work things out? 

Maybe it was. 

Neal reached out, grabbing my hands, and pulled me into a kiss. Heat flared inside my body and everything felt just right. It would be incredibly easy to just give into the feeling, give in to Neal and be with him. 

It just felt so right.