Caught Up

Cavonte| Seven

"Boy you look tired as I don't know what." Ma said, stirring the skillet of eggs. I sat at the table watching her cook. My arms crossed on top of the table and my chin resting on my arms. I've been trying to keep up with school and work while working on my mixtape. It was stressing me out. Plus I have to help take care of Rachel and make sure my Grandma's alright.

My performance at the club was popping but I still didn't get the praise I've always wanted and deserved. I wanted to be the next big thing. I didn't want to just be the opening act. The money is good though even if it wasn't that much. Maybe I'll even have my own car soon. I didn't mind riding with Jay but I just wanted my own whip. Mr. Diego is a doctor so Jay rarely has any problems when it came to money. He always has it so easy.

"Just a little Ma. Nun to worry about. Not sick na."

"You ain't got to be sick fa me to worry about ya," she grabbed a big wooden spoon and cupped out the eggs. Making Rachel and me a plate.

I grabbed me two slices of bread making me an egg sandwich. "I know Ma. I luv ya and I worry about you too. Soon Imma have me enough money for us to get outta here. Buy you a nice house with a pool in da back like ya always wanted."

She turned off the stove and turned to face me. A smile upon her face but sadness held in her weak eyes. "Oh how much you always were a big dreamer. I've always believed in you Tay. I know you gon end up to be something but you jus gon have to leave me behind."

"What cha mean?"

She slowly eased herself on to one of the wooden chairs. Discomfort on her face. I know she's been feeling under the weather for sometime but her cold should be gone by na. She kept quiet and I wasn't having that. I grabbed her soft hands and looked at her. She's only in her late forties but could pass for a thirty year old. Her dark brown hair in a ponytail today. She stared back at me. "Ma what you not telling me?"

She paused and her lips remained in a tight line. "Ma what?" I begged for her to tell me. I know she has a weak heart and has been going through a lot of problems but the doctors said she'll be alright.

She rubbed her fingers across the back of my hand. Closing her eyes she said, "I'm dying Cavonte."

I let go of her hands real quick. Not believing a damn thing she was saying. She's lying. "Nah the doctors said you were gettin better. Right Ma? You've been taking all your medicine right or do you need for me to get ya sum mo?"

"Cavonte-"

"No Ma," I pushed my chair back and got up to search the cabinets for her medicine. "You been taking ya pills twice a day like Doc Romsey said too? You probably just got the cold. I feel like i'm dying too when I'm sick." I forced out a laugh.

"Cavonte listen-"

Ignoring her I frantically searched through the cabinets for her pills. "Where you put your pills Ma? You always forgetting where you puttin things. I'm like that too sometime."

"Cavonte i'm dying dammit! Ain't no use for them pills no more. It ain't gonna save me this time so stop looking for em."

Slamming the door of the cabinets I can feel my throat drying up. "Don't talk like that ma. You'll get through this like last time." I calmly said. She didn't need to talk like that. I have hope.

I felt her hand touch my back and I shrugged her off. Not wanting her to touch me. "Tay. Your sister is going to need you. When I die don't shut off like your mom did. You're a strong boy and you'll get through this. I know I don't have much but i'm leaving everything I got to you when I'm gone."

My throat got even more dry. My hands balling into a fist as realization struck me across the face hard. Nah. I still didn't want to believe that my grandma dying. She can't leave me. She can't.