You toss and turn, unable to sleep. You stare at the parchment shade of the lamp hanging above your head, the darkness of the high vaulted ceiling. Caught by moonlight, the shade hovers luminously, disembodied as a ghost. Outside, the heavy splatter of rain can be heard. Seconds later, great claps of thunder echo over the valley. The voiles covering the windows sway a little, as the fierce winds find their way through minute cracks in the frame.
Sweat pastes the sheets and your nightgown to your body. Untangling yourself from the mass of sheets wrapped around you, you decide that a glass of warm milk might help to settle your nerves. Even better, your brother might still be awake. He might nurse a glass of grape juice and you'd sip on your honey milk, and you'll have time to talk to him.
With that thought in mind, you pad out of your bedroom and down the maze of corridors, hoping that you'll be able to remember the way to the kitchen, struggling to remember the way through the layers of fog clouding your head. You'd once wandered around the mansion in a daze for hours on end, until the maids had found you in the soft pink light of early morning.
"... I saw my little sister again."
Aether's voice stops you in your tracks. You peer over the banisters, quietly trying to eavesdrop without drawing attention to yourself.
Somewhere down below, a clock chimes, telling you that it's getting on towards midnight. Aether's face is framed by the dancing fire, which roars in the hearth, lighting up his pale skin and illuminating the despair engraved upon his visage. Diluc, sitting in silence at the window seat, turns to face Aether, something akin to sympathy flashing in his eyes.
They don't seem to notice you as you dare to inch closer, straining your ears to catch his hushed words, growing softer and softer.
"I couldn't protect her." Aether says, in a voice that is not so much breaking as is already broken. "She just –"
"I know." Diluc's voice is equally heavy. You sneak a glance at him, and immediately wish that you hadn't. The expression on his face and his eyes glazed over with pain makes your chest ache. Looking at him now, you realise that he's suffered. Not in the same way as you, but he's still suffered. And his share of pains could fill an ocean. "I couldn't protect my little sister either."
Diluc's demeanour is purposeful and direct, but guarded. Aether waits. Perhaps he's learnt, as you have, that Diluc needs to generate momentum to start sharing; saying much of anything derails the whole process.
"... She doesn't remember, but she was involved in a pointless fight." Diluc says, after a moment of quiet, his voice laced with venom. Hate rolls off him in palpable waves. Not directed at Aether, not at you – but at himself. You have to resist the urge to dart over to him, to take his hand in yours and offer him some semblance of comfort. Guilt rises in your chest until you can hardly breathe. "You should stay for the night. I'll have the maids prepare a room."
Diluc strides down the hall, his eyes red-rimmed and his expression like ice. You know that he won't be back so soon, not until he's regained some semblance of composure. With that thought in mind, you slip quietly down the stairs, joining Aether, who sits in a sullen, pensive silence. He can't even muster a smile for your unexpected appearance.
Your voice is barely a whisper. "He's wrong, you know."
Aether looks at you, his eyes boring into yours. He doesn't have to ask questions; you think that he can see your every thought written plainly on your face.
"I remember. My big brothers fought." Each word breaks a rib, puncturing your lungs and forcing the air out in rasps. Your hands fly to your chest, ensuring that the skin there is whole, not a bloodied, gaping mass of red. "And I died."
You remember.
More accurately, you've never forgotten.
Great sheets of rain battering the grounds. A blade piercing through your chest. Two exclamations of horror. Rasping breaths scratching your throat, your eyes snapping shut. Pain, bright blinding pain. The night slipping by in an oblivion of cold tears and gentle hands.
You remember more.
You remember Diluc and Kaeya, their previous quarrel forgotten in their haste to staunch the bleeding. You remember your heart catching and faltering in your chest. You remember staring sightlessly at the stone monument of Barbatos' face, his face weathered by time and his hands outstretched. You remember Diluc screaming. A long, high note of unbreaking, unceasing agony.
Now, you taste salt on your lips. You realise that you're crying. A sob you can't control is wrenched from your throat. Still, you turn your head away so that Aether won't see your tears.
"You remember all that?" Aether sounds stricken. He sounds as if he too, is teetering on the verge of tears. What a soft heart, you think. Extending his kindness to three siblings he barely knows. "Then why –"
You know what he means to ask.
Why are you still here?
Why don't you hate your brothers?
You take a steadying breath. You rub at your eyes with the backs of your hands, smearing the tears across your face and eyelashes. "Why are you looking for your sister?"
Aether doesn't have an answer. Or maybe he does. Realisation flashes across his face. He pauses, and swallows. There are no tears in his eyes, but he looks as though he's in physical pain.
Love.
