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For your entire life, people told you that you were naïve. You always looked for the best in people, no matter how much they burned you. But, what was the point of being cynical of every person you met? The way you saw it, if you walked around the world with a ten foot wall up around you, you would miss everything beautiful and wonderful that existed in the world. So, yes, you were a bit on the naïve side. You were used by countless people of your kindness. People took advantage of it, kept you around until you weren't of anymore use to them anymore. But you never thought that one day people would think you were the one that was taking advantage of others.
The day you found out, you felt your blood boil. The second you found out Colby knew, you felt your heart break.
Aryia, one of your closest friends from Colby's friend group, had come to your apartment. You greeted him happily, but your smile dissolved when you saw his bitter expression.
"What's wrong?" you asked, ushering him in.
"There's been something going on that I feel like you should know about."
"What is it?"
Aryia sighed. "Some people in the friend group think that you're using Colby for his money and clout."
You felt your heart drop to stomach. Seriously? What had you ever done to provoke such accusations? Sure, you would buy expensive things from time to time, but it was with your own hard earned money. And it wasn't like you were wasting countless amounts of money on designer things. Just, on occasion, you would treat yourself to some nice jewelry or a pretty shirt. But it was all your own money. You had never once asked Colby for anything. It was all yours.
"Seriously?" you said, not wanting to believe it.
"Yeah, I just thought you should know." Aryia patted your back. "I don't believe it, if you're wondering. I don't think you would ever use Colby like that."
You gave him a sad smile. "Thanks for letting me know."
For the rest of the week, you agonized over what you could've done wrong. You thought about every interaction with the friend group, everything you said or did. But nothing you could think of would make sense. How could they be so nasty?
By the time pizza night rolled around, you felt like the veil had been lifted. Every time you tried to make conversation with anyone who wasn't Colby or Aryia, you got short answers. People ignored you. They would sometimes send you nasty looks they thought you couldn't see.
Eventually, you had had enough and whispered to Colby, "I'm feeling a bit tired. I'm gonna head over to your apartment. You can stay, if you want. I just need to lie down."
He nodded, going back to his conversation with Sam like you hadn't said anything.
You sat on the couch for an hour, quietly mulling over the situation, when Colby came home. He took a seat beside you, and you took the opportunity to ask him. "Do you know?"
"Know what?"
"That all of your friends think I'm using you."
He was silent for a moment before confessing, "Yes, I know."
Your heart hammered in your chest. How could he know and not do anything? Why would he let them do this bullshit? "Can you tell them to stop? Tell them that I'm not like that?"
Colby met you with silence. Slowly, it began to dawn on you.
"You...You don't believe them, do you?"
"I just can never know if someone's using me. You know that."
Your mouth fell open. "I didn't think I was one of those people! This entire relationship has been on your terms. We dated in secret for six months before I met your friends. It was another two months before you told them we were dating. Your fans still have no idea I even exist. And I was fine with all of that because I wanted you to be comfortable. But I guess it was all for nothing because after all this time you still don't trust me."
"What do you want me to do? Post you all over social media so you finally get the clout you want?" Colby accused.
"It's not about clout!" you shouted. "I'm just tired of going out of my way to make sure people don't know I exist! You won't let me keep anything here. I have to pack a goddamn suitcase any time I want to stay the night. I'm constantly dodging cameras, making sure I'm not in the way. You don't even want me following you on any social media in case someone does some crazy ass sleuthing and connects us together. It's fucking exhausting!"
Colby rolled his eyes dramatically. "You're being ridiculous."
You rose to your feet, knowing what you had to do. "Whatever. Believe your friends. Believe whatever you want. I'm done."
Colby got to his feet, too. "What? You're just going to leave?"
Your lip quivered and you felt the tears well up in your eyes. "I can't be in a relationship with someone who refuses to trust me."
"What, so you're going to throw away almost a year of our relationship?"
You nodded, trying to hold back your tears. He didn't deserve to see you cry. He didn't deserve you at all. "Yeah. I am. I hope you find someone you want to share with the world, because I know that someone isn't me."
Before Colby could say anything else, you turned and left. As soon as the door shut, the tears escaped. You hurried to the elevator, hoping to make it downstairs before anyone saw you. But as you waited, Aryia, Katrina, and some of the other friends came up behind you. As you all got on the elevator, they saw the mess that you had become.
"Are you okay?" Aryia asked, his voice soft.
You quickly shook your head, turning slightly so that they couldn't see the tears rolling down your face. Oh, god, why were they all staring at you? Did they know what happened? Could they hear you and Colby from Sam's apartment? Why couldn't they just mind their own goddamn business?
"Is everything okay?" he asked, moving to rub your back. You jerked away, shaking your head again.
"Leave me alone," you managed to get out. The elevator reached the first floor and you hurried to get out. "Please, just leave me alone."
A week had passed since you broke up with Colby. Though you had never followed him on Twitter, you had taken to stalking his page to see if he was doing okay. And, truth be told, it really didn't seem like it. Since you left his apartment, he had tweeted a series of concerning things like "why do I always mess things up?" and "how could I let something so good slip away from me?". A flood of concerned fans replied to him, wanting to know what happened. But you knew, and you knew he would never tell. After everything that happened, no one would ever know you were a part of Colby's life. You almost felt bad, but you knew your response was justified. He couldn't trust you. He refused to trust you. And you couldn't live a life walking on eggshells. You didn't deserve that.
One day, you received a text from Aryia.
aryia 🎶🎤:hey, I would just like to apologize on behalf of everyone. no one meant for things to get this far. they've all realized how happy you make colby and would like for you to come back.
you: is this because they actually want me back? or is it because they just want colby to feel better and they don't actually give a damn about me? do they even realize how shitty what they did was?
aryia 🎶🎤:they all seem really sorry, y/n
you: you know, I may be naïve, but I'm not stupid.
With that, you shut your phone off and began to cry. Why did it all have to go so wrong?
