Normal

A Kind Gesture

Normal. What does it mean to be normal? Other people always seem to know what it means to be normal, but I can never figure it out. "Why can't you just be normal?" Those six words ring over and over and over again in my head every single day of my life. It feels like every part of me is being ripped apart piece by piece whenever I hear those words in my head, and I don't know how to make it stop. What is so wrong about my life, that tears run down my cheeks every single night? What is so wrong about me?

"Nooovaaa!" I jump out of my trance of tears. It's my mom, she doesn't know about the people who say that I'm not normal. If she did then she would tell on them and I wouldn't want to get anyone in trouble. "It's time for breakfast!" you can hear the excitement in her voice, she must be very proud of what she made for breakfast. I couldn't care less about what in particular we have for breakfast, food is fuel.

"I love breakfast!" I shout at the top of my lungs, hopefully she didn't notice the slight crack in my voice, I wipe the tears off my face, just be happy and optimistic, be normal.

I run downstairs to find a plate of blueberry pancakes waiting for me. They are perfectly golden brown, with lots of little splotches of purple and blue from the blueberries. They are perfectly warm and smell so sweet. I eat as fast as possible, and go back up to my bedroom to change.

I put on a plain forest green tee and dark washed jeans, grab my backpack and put my textbooks back in it - I forgot to finish my homework again - I also have to cuff my jeans because they are too long. Socks, shoes, and hoodie are next. I grab my lunch off the kitchen counter and it's time to walk to the bus.

When I get to the bus stop, I see my best friend, (well, only friend) Naledi. She's amazing! The adventures that we have gone on together, we love to go camping, but the people at school say that camping's dirty and weird. Naledi has dark brown skin that almost glitters in the sunlight. She also has coarse black hair that is neaty and tightly put into a hundred tiny braids. Her brown eyes are so dark, that they are nearly black, have gold flakes that sparkle like the night sky.

There is this one time in particular, when we were camping. We were sleeping in the same tent together, and it was a 3-person tent, so we slept right next to each other, with our giant camping backpacks at our feet. I felt warm, and not just because I was in a giant sleeping bag. It felt like there were little fireflies in me, twinkling as I slept squished up against her.

When I see her at the bus stop, I run to her and give her the biggest hug ever. I need someone to hold me after the voices yelled in my head in the night, and I sure wasn't going to tell my mom because she would make a huge deal about it. I need someone to hold me, it gets rid of the pain, at least for a little while.

"I still have to do my homework, I forgot to do it again," I divulged. I feel guilt, which I didn't before, now that I've said it to the person I care about most in the world. As if I'm admitting some great defeat. "I guess I'll have to do it on the bus."

"You really should remember to do that more," Naledi said in a semi-jokingly manner. "Maybe you should put an alarm on your phone so you don't forget." She has a voice of singing songbirds, and every star in the sky twinkles on her skin.

"Listen!" I say begrudgingly. "It's not my fault that... that... hmpf!" I realize that the reason that I didn't do my homework was because of the mean voices in my head, and I wouldn't want to burden her with the knowledge of their existence. I can handle this on my own.

"I see you're still stubborn, that's one of the weird things that I love about you." Why is she complimenting my stubbornness? That's one of my worst qualities. I put a disgruntled look on my face, but I can't help but smile. She has this charming air about her, that just makes you smile.