Normal

Back into routine

I jolt out of my night terrors, to be greeted by the smell of pancakes. I wonder if my mom made blueberry pancakes, or chocolate chip. I go downstairs to find a stack of warm, chocolate-painted pancakes on the counter. My nose is filled with the sweet aroma of chocolate and pancakes.

"Mmmm! Thanks Mom!" I fork up a golden pancake and with a drizzle of syrup, I shove the whole thing into my mouth, only to realize that's not what a normal person would do. It'd be worse to spit it out, so I finish chewing and plop another one onto my plate, so I can cut it, as a normal person would do.

"I thought you'd be hungry after going to bed without dinner." my mom looks at me with a watchful look in her eyes. I let out a small chuckle and quickly finish my pancakes, 4 to be exact. And I did so normally, of course. I go up to my room and follow Persephone's advice from two days ago, and put on a white T-shirt and gray leggings. Normal people don't wear dark colors. Normal people wear pastels, like Persephone. I finish getting ready. I run downstairs to put on my shoes.

"Bye, mom! Love you!" I grab my backpack and run out the door. Once I'm about halfway there, I slow down to admire the pretty fall colors. The maple leaves painted with reds and yellows and oranges. I was looking up so much that I wasn't looking where I was going and of course I bumped into someone. "S-s-s-sorry! I di-d-didn't s-see you there." Luckily they caught me, but then I realise that they are holding my waist, making me even more flustered. Why am I being flustered over a random person?

But it's not a random person. A familiar voice fills the breeze. "Hey, Nova. Nice of you to stumble in." Naledi says with a chuckle. My face heats up realising who's dark eyes are staring into mine. "You okay?"

I snap out of my thoughts and quickly reply. "Y-yeah I'm fine. Just still processing what just happened. By the way, I like your hoodie. You haven't worn it in a while." The hoodie in question has the night sky with tons of constellations. "It's a bit on the warm side to be wearing a hoodie though, don't you think?" Today was a lot warmer than the past few days. She then brings me up back to my feet.

"Eh, I don't really care that much. It's too cozy to take off anyway." She nuzzles the collar of her hoodie and I let out a small chuckle at her action.

"That's fine, but don't come complaining about how hot you are when we get to the afternoon, okay?" She gives me a quick nod and we head off towards the bus stop, but I do try to keep a conversation going. "Hey, what's your favorite subject in school? I just realized that I've never asked you before." I chuckle slightly at my last statement.

"Oh, um, that's a hard one. It's between guitar and choir."

"You really like music, huh?" I playfully elbow her. "Hey, this is a bit off topic, but how do you be normal? It seems like whatever I do, I'm weird. I'm not normal."

Naledi let's out a small snort. "Nova, you don't have to be 'normal'. 'Normal' doesn't exist. Society just shames people for not meeting their arbitrary set of rules, but if everyone were to follow those rules, they would just create even more arbitrary lines to divide people. And if we followed every single guideline, we would pretty much all be clones of each other." She turns her head to look at me. "Life would be boring, and we wouldn't have gems like you." I can feel a blush creep up my neck. No. I must be normal. I can't be feeling this.

"We should probably go and make sure we don't miss our bus." I quickly change the subject. I think she could tell that I was uncomfortable. She gives me a disappointed look. "Listen, I just don't want to miss the bus, nothing else to it." I lied. She knew I was lying. She knew I was hurting and trying to cover it up.

"No!"

"What?" I asked.

"There is something to it! I know you're trying to hide everything, but you can't hide it from me! You're my best friend. I know when something's up. You're not okay. I know you're hurting! Why are you hiding things from me?" I could see tears start to form in her dark eyes. "Please." she whispered.

"I'm fine." I say sternly before waking to the bus without even looking back at her.

The rest of the day went by pretty normally, except for the fact that Naledi ignored me for the entire day. Was I too stern? I was able to receive a beating from Persephone, which was nice. I must be normal. Naledi even ignored me on both the morning and the afternoon busses, which was extra weird. And she ignored me on the walk home. I finally arrive at my house and frustratingly toss my backpack on the couch, and grab my homework out of it and go up to my bedroom.

Homework. Great. At least I have something to distract me from the events of today. Although it's only two hours of distraction. Once I finish it, I put it back into my backpack. Somehow I was able to finish my homework right when my mom finished cooking dinner. I quickly eat in silence, I can tell that my mom wants to ask me what's bothering me. And she can tell that I don't want to talk about it.

Once I finish eating I head back to my room and lay in bed in silence, thinking about what happened today. Did I have an outburst because of my newly discovered feelings for Naledi? Or was it because I know that I know that I will never be normal? I will never be able to love correctly, act completely normal. And Naledi can't know that.