Mentally unstable (Karlnapitty)

The attempt

T/w: suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts.

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The day after attempting everything changes.

Sapnap's pov.

I sit in the hospital bed and drink my water. The most noticeable thing now that I am in the hospital  because of the attempt is that my mom is with me.

Now if I'm being honest it's kind of embarrassing to have failed this attempt. Apparently I'm bad at making knots. Too bad I chose soccer over the scouts maby I'd not have to be here in this stupid world...

Third person.

Sapnaps's mother is talking to the doctor and she looks like she'd rather be somewhere else, probably hooking up with random men.

Sapnap's pov.

Fuck the doctor's coming in, and he's definitely going to ask me questions.

"Hey Nick" he says like nothing happend. Fucking doctor's, I hate them. "Could you maby tell me what has been on your mind Sweetheart". WAIT DID HE CALL ME SWEETHEART I HATE HIM. I don't answer. "Your going to have to talk to someone, would it help having your mom here?". "NO I HATE HER SHE'S CHEATING ON DAD AND THEY NEVER STOP ARGUING" I say very angerly. "Why don't you just let me die?" I ask now starting to sob. The doctor gives me a hug and says "we aren't going to let you die but we are going to help you". I like this doctor.

Time skip.

I'm eating dinner, it's disgusting hospital food. And there's nothing good on the TV. I hate this. I decide to just go to sleep to waste time in this stupid hospital. That was a bad idea.

In dream.

I walk down the stairs with a rope, I've been practicing knots alot in private. Now I just gotta tie it onto the top of the stairs. I'm sobbing alot so it's hard to tie it, I just have to get it and I'll be free from this stupid world. As I'm walking down the stairs I can feel my body getting heavier and my heart pounding faster. 5 steps. 4 steps. 3 steps. 2 steps. 1 step. The only thing left to do now is to jump I start counting down. 3, 2, 1, I jump. And I hear the door open, and at the same time crash on to the ground. I'm bad at making knots.

Middle of the night.

I wake up sweaty and sobbing. I quickly push the button to get a nurse, my mother didn't bother to stay the night and my dad died a few years back in a car crash. So I'm alone sobbing and shaking until the nurse comes in. "Por por child" she says and hugs me tight. I usually don't get so much love because my mom doesn't care about me at all. It's nice. "Do you want some water?" She says in a calming voice. I just nod and she leaves to get water.

A little while later she comes back with water and pudding. "Shhh don't tell anyone I  stole it from the kitchen" she says and smiles. I smile back. It's nice to feel loved.

Next morning.

I wake up hearing footsteps outside the room. I groan and stretch my neck quickly flinching, I had forgotten the bruises on my neck, my eyes fill up with tears.

I hear the door open and quickly wipe away the tears ."Good morning Nick" the doctor says. I hate that name. "This is dr. Smith she is a therapist and is going to help you". I just look away, I don't like therapist's. "Hello Nick" she says with a soothing voice. "Hi" Why is my voice so bad now. "I heard of your dream, would you mind telling what it was about?". She sounds nice so I'll tell her. "Errm" I start tearing up. "It's alright I won't be mad". Right It's not my mom. I wipe my tears away and take a deep breath. "It was the attempt"

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Ok first time writing a book so idk what I'm doing or if anyone's gonna read this so?