There she was, in the middle of the Cracker Barrel. She was more beautiful than the Fresh Fruit n' Vanilla Yogurt Parfait. I had to talk to her, but how could I approach a goddess like her. "YOLO" I thought to myself as I gracefully dashed over to the table where she sat alone. I tripped and fell on top of her Biscuits n' Gravy with Bacon or Sausage, she got the bacon. She looked at me in disgust, I had just ruined the only thing she could enjoy in this world, and she wasn't going to forgive me easily. I didn't know what to do or say, I didn't think I'd screw up this badly. Our love was just not meant to be. I got up slowly, bacon and gravy stuck to my back. I apologized and started to waddle away. I couldn't look up no matter how hard I tried. I knew everyone was staring at me, I couldn't bear it.
That's when she called out to me. "WAIT!" she yelled from across the Cracker Barrel with a voice that could calm the ocean. I turned around so fast the bacon and gravy flew around the restaurant, slapping bystanders in the face. This was it, all my years of therapy led up to this moment. The one moment where I would finally overcome my fears and get the girl. Her mouth opened, I was prepared for that wonderful voice to tell me the words I had been waiting to hear. "I'm not paying for the meal you ruined." She said with a mixture of anger and sass.
I felt my knees grow weak, my head fell down again and the Cracker Barrel flooded with whispers. This was officially the lowest point in my life. I paid for her and the people who I attacked with the barrage of bacon and gravy when I spun around earlier. Not only was I now depressed and embarrassed, I was also now broke. I quickly finished my remaining buttermilk pancakes, paid for everything, and left. The Cracker Barrel Goddess has left a hole in my heart that I think will never be filled, a Biscuit shaped hole...
