no promises

where the search starts

****Flashback****

"Babe, I have to go." He whispered on my ear and I felt him kissed my hair while I was leaning on his chest under the tree facing the lake. His arms around me. Holding me like he never want to let me go.

"Kailan ka babalik?" tanong ko sakanya habang nakatingin sa malayo. Ninanamnam ang nalalabing oras kasama ang lalaking mahal na mahal ko.

Yes. He's leaving.

I heard him chuckled. "hindi pa nga ako nakaka-alis gusto mo na kaagad akong bumalik?"

"It's because I love you." I closed my eyes to hold back my tears. "I'll miss you, Babe."

He sighed. "I don't know... I can't tell you when because I don't know neither...But I promise...when I come back, I'll never leave again."

"can't we stay like this forever? I mean, can't you just stay here? I can't imagine a day without you near me, Babe." My voice croacked.

"Carol, we're still young. Who knows makahanap ka pa ng iba na mas deserving sa'yo kaysa saakin. Someone who will love you more than I do."

"Pero ikaw ang mahal ko. And I don't think someone deserves me more than you do."

"I know. Ganun din naman ako sa'yo eh." Ipinatong niya ang ulo sa kaliwang balikat ko. "Kaya nga kailangan kong umalis." Tumango nalang ako pagkasabi nito. Wala naman na akong magagawa eh. Everything is settled bago ko pa malamang aalis pala sya.

We stayed there in silence for a moment bago sya nagyayang umalis. Sabi nga niya ihahatid na daw niya ako sa apartment ko bago sya pumunta ng NAIA pero umangal ako at nagpumilit na ihatid ito sa airport. Ayaw niya nung una pero in the end ay napapayag ko na din sya sa gusto ko.

**Departure**

He hugged me tight and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "Mag-iingat ka, Babe. Call me when you get there ok?" Tumango ito bago sumagot. "Yeah, I will. Take care of yourself too."

This is it. Aalis na talaga sya. Hindi ko na kinayang pigilan pa ang mga luhang kanina pa nagbabadyang bumuhos mula sa mga mata ko at sunod-sunod ng tumulo ang mga ito.

Hindi ako sanay na maiwan eh. This is new to me and I don't know how to deal with it.

"Hush, Carol." Ramdam ko ang banayad na paghaplos nito sa buhok ko habang pinapatahan ako. "Kaya ayokong ihatid mo ako eh... Alam kong iiyak ka lang." Sabi niya bago humiwalay sa pagkakayakap at pinahid ang luhang tumulo galing sa mga mata ko.

"I love you." He said. His eyes are full of sincerity and sadness.

"I love you more, Christian."

Ngumiti ito at pinagdikit an gaming mga noo. "I love you most." He cupped my face and closed his eyes. I did the same thing too. And his lips met mine.

We were kissing passionately, not minding the other people around us. Another tear escaped from my eyes. Ano ba yan! Nakapikit na nga ako wala paring tigil sa pagluha ang mga mata ko.

I'm going to miss this. Him and all the moments we spent together.

He pulled away from the kiss and wiped my tears again before he carried his luggage and started to walk away.

There goes the man I ever loved. He left me...standing in the middle of the crowd. All alone and empty. Ganito pala ang feeling na maiwan.. MASAKIT. Sobra.