Magicians Secret // Big Mouth

.7 Backstage Preparation

I've always loved to have power. I know, a broad statement. But it's true: the only type of attention I get in my own house is from my brother, who is always reminding me that I'm annoying and kicking me out of his room. My parents don't care about me, and I'm not being dramatic, when I was ten years old I fractured my wrist after falling off the monkey bars, but I didn't find this out until my school teacher took me to the hospital a week later when it was plum purple and swollen to the size of a tennis ball. It looked as if I had a large steel ball inside my wrist, and I constantly complained about how much it hurt, but my parents said I was just being 'melodramatic'. Aiden, whereas, can have a tooth ache and they'll treat it like his life is on the line. And while there is some joy from not having anyone really care about you - getting away with anything you want, for example - there is also the annoying craving for anyone and everyone to listen to me. This habit of mine makes me a surprisingly good director.

"So, everyone did okay today. I guess." I sigh.

The theatre in this school is also the assembly hall: a vast and empty room with hospital-white lights glaring down at the auditorium, lines and lines of uncomfortable, creaky cheviot cushioned seats facing the poorly-lit stage in desperate need of a paint job and new main curtains. I sit in the front row with a clipboard, flicking through the pages with diligent notes messily scribbled across each sheet like tangled hair, a pen lid clasped hardly in between my teeth. The actors are all lined up on the stage: my lead played by Matthew, his co-leads Missy and Devon, the lesser characters played by Andrew and Lola. After giving my notes and receiving feedback in the forms of glares and hisses (mainly from Lola and Matthew), I take a deep breath in my seat, letting my chest heave up and down as heavily as it can, and let my eyes slowly gaze up at the group.

"What's happening?" I ask blankly, "We're done here."

The actors leave the stage and join me on the floor, and from the second I get out of my seat, my power is vanquished. Lola walks out of the hall with me, throwing her heavy arm over my shoulders, her hip smashing against mine and her meaty breath wafting into my nostrils.

"So, you're going to Jay's, right?" she asks eagerly, her bitterness at my criticism of her acting having dissolved. Thankfully, because Lola scares the shit out of me.

"Uh- yeah." I reply timidly as we walk out of the school's main door. The cool air smacks my face suddenly, brushing a few rouge strands of hair out of my face. Lola moves in closer to me, so that her wet armpit slaps my shoulder, a regrettable connection which makes me want to leap away from her.

"Oh my god, you've seen his brother, right? He is so hot!" she says excitedly, and loudly enough to draw in the entire crowd of the cast to our conversation.

"Wait- which one?" Matthew intervenes, appearing at my other side.

"Uh- the hot one." Lola sneers, chuckling thickly in my ear - or maybe it isn't a chuckle, it could be a grunt or a sniff.

"So- Val." Andrew adds from behind her.

"No, Kurt." Missy argues.

"Are you kidding? Kurt?" Matthew screws his face up, pulling away from Missy, who was walking beside him.

The 'who's hotter' debate lasts a while until I finally manage to peel away from the group and run to my house. I didn't let myself join in, even though Val has caught my eye like a fisherman does a catfish. When I get back into my room, slamming my back against my door once it shut, I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding in.

Something sexy.

It rings in my mind like a broken alarm clock, metal hitting metal at a million miles an hour, untuned and painful to the ear.

I pick out my outfit: high waisted black denim shorts and a red tank top, paired with my red and black high thigh socks. I tie my hair up into a ponytail and grab a black leather jacket previously being worn by my desk chair.

I should've just stayed home.