The problems in our eyes

-Chapter 1-

Love.. 

Love..

Love..

Many people would say that love brings luck and happiness. It's true in a way, but there's a part of the word "Love" that we humans have never discovered. A dark piece of love. That one piece that brings misfortune and trouble to us. That one piece that brings sadness and confusion. That one little piece that brings failure.

 Some people discover the dark piece of love and live with it. Some other people have discovered the piece but pretend they don't feel anything and hang their fake masks in front of their faces every day so that the other people don't see their real emotions, simply by giving a fake smile to them.

 It's hard to understand what love means. Maybe it doesn't mean anything? Maybe it's just something we want or need to feel? I never really thought so much about this but love means for everyone something different right? But what if love means nothing for you, do you still feel something? or is it just and empty place in your heart that no one can fill in?

You can use word "love" in a romantic situation between 2 people or you can use it when your doing something you like. When you are in a comfortable situation, when you are in a place that makes you happy and calm.Or for example, when you are alone in a calm restful place and listen to the birds singing. When you listen to the wind blowing through the leaves of the trees or when you feel the cold rain drops on your warm skin. It is different for everyone but not everyone often understands what the word "love" means. People have to figure it out and find out. Only when they end up in an unfortunate situation do they understand what they have missed. Only then do they understand that they were actually lucky and happy. We humans are never happy about our life, but when things get bad we understand that we were wrong, and only then do we understand that we had a perfect life that we only complained about.

If only I had told myself that sooner I would never have ruined the best years of my life. One of the worst feelings ever is when you realise you're wasting the "best" years of your life. When you realise that you could do so much things but you didn't because you thought you couldn't do that or because you thought you weren't worth it. 

And now hear me out:

Live before you regret that you ruined your whole life. Don't think about making good decisions. You know why? Because every decisions you make will bring something good and bad. So fuck it.

Live your life, scream out of your lungs. Feel alive before you die or even worser before you regret wasting the good years of your life. 

I can't promise you that love will bring you happiness, the only thing I can promise you is that you must bring happiness to yourself alone. No one would be there for you to help and so you have to live your own life. All those things I tell you now I would never tell the girl who believed in fairy tales. Because she wouldn't understand it simply, and when she realized she made a mistake in her life she understood the whole meaning of love and live. And this is the story about:

Dabria Jenkins. 

A girl who had believed in the fairy tales her parents told her.

 She believed some years ago that happiness existed. 

She believed in love and all that other stuff that kids believed in. For example most of us believed in a prince on a white horse that will help us and give love to us. Did we ever got a prince on a white horse? Exactly no. But what did we get? Nothing.

 When she understood everything about the meaning "living" and "loving" she started her own life again but this time making herself happy and not the other people around her. She started ignoring the people around her school and life. 

She understood that life was not black and white. There was no meaning of evil and good. She didn't take anything seriously anymore because she understood that everything would go away someday and that she would be left alone again. That's why she told herself she would start living from now... 

She rose from her grave filled with pain misunderstand sadness and desolation. She got up and started her life again. That was the moment when she tried to find happiness but there was still a piece that was not filled. There was an empty space in her life but she didn't understand what she didn't have. She didn't look for her lost piece because she didn't want to get into trouble. 

But unbeknownst to her, the desolate piece of her heart itself would one day resurface to her. To the girl who believed..

The girl who believed in fairytales...