Falling out (Taehyung×Reader)

Chpt 7: My reality

Y/n,

Today it feels like I can't make it out of bed, today feels like one of those days were i will just lay in this dark room and dwell on my past as I always do. Today felt a little more painful then most days but this time the pain felt both physical and emotionally, I don't know if I can make it past this day. Yet it's three in the after noon and here I am standing at your grave and the picture of you staring right back at me, I miss you a lot but I feel so much anger now and I'm not sure why. The thoughts I have of you make my blood boil with anger, but it makes my heart feel the same pain I did that night. I hate that that my life keeps having to go back to the past because I feel like I never actually met you or I don't remember it as it happened, I bring you flowers once every week but I think today will be my last day because I no longer want to go to my past. Today marking the eighth year you've left me alone at that bridge.

"This is our forever goodbye, even though your goodbye was eight years ago." I place your favorite flowers down when I heard your small voice speak up, I was hesitant to turn around but I couldn't help it. "Please don't let it be forever." You spoke and I stared at you and looked at jimin who walked up, "What are you looking at?" He spoke staring at me and I looked at him than back at you. "At her she's here." I felt hurt because you were real you are real but at this moment I wished you stayed dead because I don't want to feel anything for you when I feel everything for you.
"Taehyung there's no one there." She looked at him and immediately looking down and I shook my head at him, "No we're not doing that again this time, she's here and you know she is. How long have you known she was alive." He sighed and stared at her with anger, "It's not his fault I told him to lie." She quickly spoke and I felt myself go numb as she defended him trying to explain everything that happens the last eight years but out of all days she choose this day to come clean. I felt myself getting sick to the sight of her.

(4years ago)
I stared at the house you would claim yours when I would walk you home at night, it was empty like no family has lived there even when you claimed it was yours. Lifeless and colorless is how it looked, I rested my head against the gate as it unhatched. In that moment I was drawn in to the abandoned home, you always said it's just a house not a home. I walked into the open door and saw pictures thrown everywhere as if you had a terrible fight with your parents before that night, I looked around as the ruined photos crushed beneath my feet until one caught my eye. I picked it up same bridge same girl and same me but this time you were smiling no tears no pain in your eyes you looked happy.

I wish I could remember you like this instead of the memory I have of you, I hate the fact that you falling off the bridge replays every night in my head. I turned it over to read your hand writing you had behind our photo, I felt my body go numb like it never has before reading your writing.

'I love you, but not enough to stay for you. I'm sorry.'
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She reached over as I pulled back making her expression fall, I watched her as she ran a hand through her hair. Why is she here, I was okay I was letting go and I still am I want her gone. We stared at each other, I gave a cold stare not wanting to feel any emotion for her at this moment. "I'm letting you go forever now." I pushed pasted her knowing that this life is it.

My reality