A Reason for Being Life English Version

Six

"It's not what you think Nur, you're focusing on the wrong things. Look under your feet!"

"What? There's nothing on my feet"

"Basically, what exactly are you looking for? See! No shadows there. We are not real, just a life without a soul. You can't even touch me, Nur."

"HAH! you mean? I dead?"

"No Nur, how about this. You say you're smart, but you can't do something as simple as this. we are in your future Nur. It's someone's wedding."

"What!! Future !! You're kidding old man, this is impossible."

"You are idiot, if you want to be sure, go ahead. You can try to touch the people who are here, or you can also see the glass, but you can be sure your reflection isn't there."

With enthusiasm, Nur tried to touch almost everyone in the hotel ballroom. He ran ramming his life-only body against the wall, but he pierced through the other walls. He shouted as loud as he could but no one heard him. He looked so excited and seemed to have forgotten that 2 hours ago he wanted to end his life.

"So what are we doing here old man? Why did you bring my life here?"

"To attend Nur's wedding"

"Whose wedding?"

"Let's go inside, and you can see for yourself"

Nur had never seen such a ballroom before. The ballroom was magnificent, located on the highest floor of one of the five-star hotels in Palembang. With glass walls overlooking the city, from this ballroom you can clearly see the entire city of Palembang. Not far from this building, it is clear that the train that will pass, this train is usually called the Palembang people LRT, the speed of the train is very fast. From the glass of this ballroom, you can also see a large building in the form of a jasmine with five petals that has an eagle decoration in front of it. The building is known by the people of Palembang as Monpera or Monument to the People's Struggle. The monument was built to commemorate the services of the heroes in the past who sacrificed their souls and bodies to defend the city of Palembang, that's why the contents of the monument are memories of the heroes.

Nur walked towards the wedding stage, as the old man said, if Nur was curious whose wedding this was then she had to see for herself. Nur looked confused, because she did not recognize the two brides who looked happy on stage. However, hey-

"Mother! Father! How?"

"Yes, of course, Nur, this is your wedding, why did I invite your soul here to attend a wedding that you don't even know who the bride is. I wanted to show you that you were wrong about everything."

"I never thought about all this old man, who is that man? Why would he accept me?"

"You don't recognize him? Are you sure?"

Nur slowly approached the stage and tried to recognize the man sitting with her on the aisle.

"Even though he looks different, but I can certainly recognize him old man, his eyes, his smile, the way he laughs, of course I still remember very well. But isn't it?" Nur looked at the old man with a question mark

"That's what I told you Nur, there are no creature in this world can determine the future. Your opinion about what we do today will reflect us in the future, it's not always true, Nur. Look at that beautiful woman in a white wedding dress, she looks very happy, doesn't she? Look at the smile and laughter on his face, it's not a fake but a really sincere smile and laugh shows that he was very happy that day. And look at that man, he looks at you lovingly Nur, isn't this man the same man who makes you think that your uncle has ruined your future, because you think that you are not worthy of anyone."

Nur pensively saw the happy atmosphere in front of him. Seeing Father and Mother greeting some guests, seeing the two twin sisters who seemed to have grown up trying to help the committee to arrange a line of guests to shake hands with the bride and groom. He never thought that this would happen in the future, the mysterious figure of a man he had just met, brought him to a future that he had never even thought of.

"Danu, Mother, Father look very happy there, the old man, but why are they all now leaving me?"

"Actually I've crossed my line Nur, bringing you here is a violation, I can't explain why you got married to Danu, what was the chronology of previous events and what happened so that all of this could be inversely proportional to what's happening now. I know those are all questions in your mind right now, but I tell you Nur, I can't answer them. Time will tell. But I want to tell you Nur, live your life no matter what, suppose you are in the middle of a vast ocean, you have to face many trials, storms, waves, winds are all problems for you but with all those trials do you want to jump off the ship and end everything ? Of course, no, not Nur, you can't give up, because you've already started, you just need to go through this ship until it reaches its destination, like your life, Nur Whatever happens, keep going, until you reach your destination. One of them is this wedding, isn't this one of your destinations, Nur?" Nur's face turned red when the old man said that. But the old man's message is right for the current situation, and Nur will remember the old man's message for the rest of his life.

"Nur, you promised me to tell you your 3 reasons for committing suicide and you only told one of them, I'm afraid that after this you will still commit suicide because the other two reasons haven't finished just because I brought you here".

"For a moment you made me forget about what I went through, old man, even from the beginning I thought you had bad intentions for me, but you are really sincere here, I am very grateful to God for sending you to me today. If only I could jump straight to this session in my life, maybe the suicidal ideation would never cross my mind again but maybe by telling the next reason maybe that desire will also gradually disappear".

"Well I think this place is good enough to witness your story, Nur".

"Okay, I'll start the story"

Nur's POV back to 5 years ago

This story begins when I was in high school.

I used to really want to go to a public high school near my house, because I wasn't a diligent student in middle school so I never entered the top 3 grades. Because I thought that it was enough for me to be a smart student in elementary school, but it turned out that my luck was really bad. Because I'm not in the top 3 of the class so I'm not included in the list of students who can take the path without a test to enter a public high school. Alright, no matter what I thought at the time, I can take the test path, and after all I feel that this intelligent talent in me is still attached, so it doesn't matter. I will definitely pass.

But I was wrong, the harsh reality had to be seen when the day of the announcement of the test results arrived. I saw with my two healthy eyeballs, my name was clearly displayed with the caption NOT PASSING. I'm too confident by relying only on instinct when filling out exam questions. I admit I didn't study at all while taking the test. But there was one incident that I always remember before the test, which I made the main reason why I didn't pass the test.

It happened when I came home from the test with my friends. We are cool to tell about the questions we met during the exam earlier. I didn't take it seriously because it was the fasting month and I felt very tired and immediately wanted to go home to rest. However, it was different with my friends, they even took me around to see the school. And of course I refused I said "I'm very tired, I want to go home quickly, let's go home now" but my friends replied "I still want to be here, I want to see where I go to school, so that later when I go to school I'll know where the school rooms are this". I said "It's up to you, I want to go home". I quickly rushed home.

Maybe if you think about it at a glance, there really isn't anything wrong with that, moreover it's the reason I didn't pass the test, it has nothing to do with it at all. However, my grandmother once said "God is all-seeing, Allah knows what is in your heart, and asked the Angels to record it to be granted". And I think that day, the Angel in charge of recording everything I did and everything that was in my heart had recorded what I said to my friend, and translated that I didn't want to go to school there. Of course that incident always resonated in my memory and I always used it as the reason why I didn't pass the test. After seeing the announcement of a very painful test, my middle school gang friends and I cried together, knowing that only a part of us passed and we had to leave schools. And that day I decided that I didn't want to go to school anymore.