I Wouldn't Have Known

Chapter Six - Heating Pad

"Em come on! Ur being slow!"

"Hey don't be rude to me, was I not the one to let you stay at my place?"

"Well now I'm sharing rent so you can't hold that over my head anymore"

"Fine fine."

I'd been staying in Emily's spare room which has now become my own little space in the apartment. Although, I never really used it. I went there to change and if I wanted people over I'd bring them into my little suite but really. Everything was the same as it was just a month ago. I've still been sleeping in Emily's bed every night. I'm still too afraid to sleep alone. It's pathetic honestly.

Even after I was cleared to come back to work, I couldn't bring myself to go back to the apartment.

I couldn't bring myself to go back into the apartment where Jax yelled at me and accused me of cheating, the place where my body was continually used with no mind to my pleasure at all, and the apartment that I lived in before all of my stability was ripped out from under me after being maliciously manhandled by a violent bigot. It's like in that apartment I was just going through the motions of being a human being without consciously living. I had seen myself at a toy for other people to use and I can't say for certain that I feel any different from that now but quite honestly I don't want to think about that. I don't want to walk into that apartment and break down again in front of the only person who's actually wanted to listen to my feelings or make me feel good about myself. As much as I know she cares for me, I can't jeopardize and the one bolt holding against the wall.

But yeah I'm fine. Cleared for fieldwork.

From what I could tell, Emily was happy to have a housemate. She had said to me that it was nice to have someone around who can cook (because she tended to burn everything) and it was nice not having to cover the rent completely. I knew to an extent she was lying. Reid had told me when I first joined that Emily was quite the lone wolf and preferred not to be attached to things. And it was back to me feeling burdensome.

Although from what I profiled she didn't seem to mind my presence. I saw genuine happiness when we spent time together but that only further added to my conflict about whether I was bothering her or not. Maybe it's just all in my head. Maybe it's definitely all in my head. She is my best friend. Best of friends. Just a couple of best friends.

"You are one cranky old women." I jokingly sneer pulling my luggage out of the elevator towards the room I was assigned to in the hotel. I ran ahead a little knowing that after an insult such as that Emily would fully attack me.

"Oh no, you don't you're not getting away with insulting me like that, and then expect to get off hands clean." She lunged towards me as I ran down the hall. I abandoned my suite case and fled like a child being chased by the tickle monster. Emily caught up to me grabbing me by the waist and tackling me to the ground while I shrilled in excitement. She started to pinch at my sides making my body spasm as she tasered me throwing me into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"For an old woman I seem to be in a lot better shape." She says out of breath continuing her motions and pinning me down as I struggle to fight back.

"Shut the fuck u—" she squeezes my sides again letting my laughter finally trail out after her final attack and getting up to get out bags.

When she returns with the luggage she hands me the keycard and I walk over to our room and open it up.

The case we're on is in vegas so the view is nothing short of amazing as I run over to the bed furthest from the door and yell out "dibs". Emily just laughs with no protest.