I Wouldn't Have Known

Chapter Five - Avoiding Eye Contact

IM BACK IM SO SORRY
I also have some other docs planned for this summer so get hype
Also sorry this is unedited
ALSO I'll probably be updating this one more regularly now or at least soon

Waking up to the thin sheen of light coming in through the window, I was met with the strong embrace of Emily's arms wrapped around my body.

And like the near-crushing force of her arms weighed me down so did the events of last night.

How could you be so stupid, so awful?

I had realized what this means for Emily. She's ACTUALLY gay and we just had sex. What does it mean to her? Am I just leading her on? Or did she just expect this to be like a one-night stand and we'll never talk about it again?

In some way, I do hope we talk about it again. And I'm ashamed to admit it (and ashamed that I am ashamed) but I want to do it again. It's not just how she made me feel with her body. Which did feel amazing. It was how I felt after and when we were kissing. It's like there was something special about it.

She had such soft lips and a delicate touch. I love the feeling of her soft body under my palms so easy to press my hands into. I liked holding her. And I liked how she held me.

I don't know what I'm saying I'm probably just horny and upset because I broke up with Jax. But it's not like I even liked him that much.

BUT I'M NOT GAY. I don't understand.

Emily began to stir and the guilt rose once more paired with the anxiety of having to talk to her. I pretended to be asleep to avoid confrontation. I heard her loud yawn and slight scoff when she looked down at me lying on her chest. Bringing her hand up to pet my hair she turned her head and reached for her phone. Checking the time she sighed. Maybe she would be leaving for work and I can think about what I want to say to her for the whole day. But she didn't.

"(Y/N), love, wake up. It's 1 pm, if you sleep much longer you won't fall asleep tonight," she said.

Oh crap, we really slept that long. I start to move to get up and away from her chest.

"Ok, I'm up, I'm up," I say with a semi convincing yawn. I move to swing my feet over the bed stretching out my body. Emily comes up behind me kneeling on the bed and rubbing her hand on my back squeezing my shoulder.

"How are you feeling today? Do you think you can move around at all," she asked in a concerned voice.

"Yeah I think I can, I'm just a little sore still."

"That's alright I'll help you around"

"Can you walk me to the bathroom? And can you grab my phone? I should call my parents."

"Oh yeah yeah of course you probably should." she laughed guiding me to the bathroom attached to her room.

Once inside I did my business and brushed my teeth pulling up my mother's contact and mentally preparing myself for the barrage of questions.

I clicked on the phone icon under her name, taking a deep breath and bringing it up to my ear.

"(Y/N)!" my mom said very loud and aggressively through the phone after the first ring.

"Hi, mom."

"Oh, my goodness honey I've been anxiously waiting for your call! I was so worried when your boss called to tell us about the shooting! He told me to wait until you came to me to talk about it but I was nearing my wit's end without talking to my baby! How are you, do you need me to come to DC! Oh honey I was so worried I--"