Sense Of Restraint

Chapter Nineteen: Bleak

19

I woke up this morning still angry, I can't believe he thinks I would ever cheat on him. I yank the covers back and I sit up in bed and sigh. I look over and see all the stuff I brought in here with me. I didn't wanna go in our room in the morning so I brought everything I would need in here instead.

I get up and grab my clothes for work, I go in the bathroom. I hang my clothes on the back of the door then I go to the shower. I turn on the shower and I turn the water to warm. I take my pajamas off and toss them into the laundry hamper. I look at myself in the mirror and I notice I even look angry.

I rub my face then I turn to get in the shower. I step under the water, for a second it feels good and makes me forget why I'm so angry. I let it completely wash over me.

I get out of the shower and I dry myself off. I look out the window and notice it's gloomy. I sigh and start to get dressed. I put on a black floral printed, short sleeved body con dress. I pair it with some sheer black tights and my black and white converse. I don't feel like doing much with my hair so I pull it up in a cute ponytail. For makeup I do a cute wing and some mascara. I finish off with some lipgloss.

I walk out of the bathroom and grab my cropped black leather jacket. I pull it on then I grab my bag, I grab my phone then head downstairs. I look around and I don't see anyone. Chris must've left already, he's probably just as angry as I am. I go in the kitchen and grab an apple out of the fruit bowl.

I go to the elevator and head down to the garage. When I get there, I notice the SUV isn't here. Malcom must've taken Chris early. I go over to my car and get in, I take my keys out of my bag. I start the car then drive off.

While at work I find I'm having a hard time focusing. I look at my client while talks to me.

"I just feel like my wife's bored in our marriage."

I nod "Mhm. And why do you think that?"

"She never seems like she wants to be around anymore. Even our kids notice! It's heartbreaking. I kinda have an idea she's cheating."

I grip my pen tighter "Oh? And what makes you think that? Have you considered she's working harder to better herself? Or maybe she's trying to make a difference for once? Why do men always get upset when women try to do something for themselves? Huh? That's what I'd like to know! Are we just there to satisfy men's sexual desires and fantasies? Why can't men ever just let women be on top for once! Tell me Harold! Why do you do that? Why don't you ask your wife what she's going through? Maybe she just wants you to support her through something."

My client stares at me in fear "Uh, my wife is a stay at home mom. And I know she's cheating I've seen the messages."

I shake my head and say "Oh god, I'm sorry. That was unprofessional of me. I'm sorry Harold. I'm just going through a lot at home. Please continue."

After I let my client go, I walk into the break room. I go to the water cooler to get a cup of water. Nancy comes in and says "Hun, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just stressed. Lots to do today."

"Okay, well, after your last client. Please come talk to me in my office?"

I nod "Okay."

She nods then walks out of her office and I silently drink my water.

I spent most of my day quiet, I only talked when my clients needed me too. I need to relax, I just don't know how to. Maybe when I go home I can relax in the tub, maybe do some self care. Although the thought of going home tonight makes my stomach hurt. It breaks my heart knowing that I don't wanna go home. I always love going home, it means I get to see the man I love. I don't know how he's gonna be tonight. Part of me is afraid to find out.