Sex is a learning, even for shitheads.

Part III. Don't sweat it, Katsuki.

Part III. Don't sweat it, Katsuki.

The room was surprisingly quiet in this afternoon, the only sounds filling the air being the fast rhythm of fingers tapping on a keyboard and the regular groans of an eternally grumpy teenager. Legs crossed under his bum, Katsuki frowned at the results his keywords led to.

Foreplays girls like.

Because yes, he was this lost.

He skimmed through the topic once, but he felt the need to learn more. He knew that what he was gonna find wouldn't be universal answers and that the best would be to ask you directly, but the more he learned beforehand, the calmer he felt about it. He hated to broach a subject he was completely ignorant about.

« Holy shit, » he sighed in a shaky voice, massaging his temples. « If I read one more line about sucking tits, I'm gonna go crazy. »

He had no idea girls could be this explicit about sex ! He always thought they were some prude and weird creatures waiting for their Prince Charming or some bullshit, but fuck, was he wrong ! For him who wasn't expecting much from his research and thought he would end on some pinkish-flower-patterned forum with girls declaring shit like 'I'm fine with any type of foreplay because I love him so much /heart/ /heart/ /kiss/ /star/ /heart/ /heart/' written in rainbow colours... Well fuck ! It was a bit refreshing actually. He was used to hear boys talking about sex all day along, usually not in a poetic way, but girls ? He didn't even suspected they could think about sex as much as them ! You really were right when you told him that even girls had dirty thoughts. Sneaky creatures !

« Katsuki ! » Mitsuki called as she opened the door of his room. But thanks to these incredible instinct and reflexes teenagers developed to no get caught the hand in their pants, Bakugô closed his tab at the speed of light.

« Never fucking heard of knocking before entering someone's room, old hag ?! »

« Oh shut it, kid ! I don't care what kind of porn you were watching, it's still my goddamn house and I have the right to enter any room as I'm fucking pleased ! »

« WHA-... No I wasn't... »

« That's it, try to convince your mother that you and your sixteen years of puberty know nothing about porn. I bet I could create a whole website just with your history. Kids those days really take their parents for morons... »

Katsuki could feel his face burning hot. No, he wasn't talking about porn sites with his mom. This wasn't happening. He was going to wake up from this nightmare. And kill himself immediately.

« At least I hope you've got healthy searches, catching you surfing among the MILF category wouldn't help to ease the atmosphere at the next Christmas... Those women are around my age, you know ? »

« GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM ! » Katsuki yelled, throwing his mouse at her. Hopefully, Mitsuki got some reflexes too and shielded herself by closing the door right before the impact. She reopened it few seconds later, a toothy grin plastered on her face.

« By the way... I was here to tell you that the poor girl you somehow trapped in a relationship with your weak ass is here. »

« I fucking hate her.... » Katsuki thought as he stood up, hands buried deep down in his pocket as he slouched his way down the stairs.

« Stand up straight, and pull those goddamn pants up already ! » Mitsuki called to order, catching her son by the belt and yanking his pants upwards.

« Just leave me alone already, old hag ! »

He almost ran to the kitchen, sighing discreetly when he saw that his father welcomed you with a nice cup of tea, which was less humiliating than when his mom showed you an assortment of his most embarrassing baby pictures. You didn't needed to see him on the pot, really.