Thought I'd start this off right with a little dumb and dumber. This is the instrumental for Come Out and Play by The Offspring. Enjoy!
3rd Person POV-
Hafu wasn't having a very good birthday. She had invited all of her friends, even her EU friends, and they were all at her party now, which started about 30 minutes ago. Well, almost all of them. Steve and DK, the most recent lovers of the group, were MIA, with no word from either about why they weren't there. They were all trying to convince her that they were just a little late, but she was convinced that they had forgotten about her special day and were having fun on their own.
Meanwhile...
"BABE! WE'RE LATE! SHOVE THE MONEY IN THE BAG FASTER!!!"
"I'M TRYING! GOTDAMB IT DUDE, SHE'S GONNA BE SO UPSET! YOU JUST HAAAAD TO SET THE ALARMS OFF!"
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"
"YES IT IIIIISSS DUDE!"
"NUH UH!"
"YUH HUH!"
As the couple squabled, the police were closing in on the bank that Steve and DK, the two in question, were robbing. Yeah they were criminals, you got a problem with that?! They definitely didn't. They'd never killed anyone, if you're wondering, but they did like to rob people and places. Now back to their stealing.
"Damb it dude, we gotta go! The po po are here!"
"Fuck, let's go!"
DK grabbed his boyfriend's hand and dragged them both out of the vault, two very full bags of money bouncing along on their backs. They skidded to a stop in the main lobby, eyes widening when they saw the cops trying to break in through the front door. They shared a look before they both grabbed their grappling hooks and Steve grabbed his gun. He fired it up at the glass ceiling, shattering it. Glass shards rained down around them and they both shot their hooks at the ceiling both hooking around the rafters. They both clipped the line onto their belts and exchanged a look. Even though they both had black face masks on, the mischievous and loving glance they gave each other said it all.
They both hit the retract button as the cops burst into the room, triggering the smoke bombs they had set up on either side of the door and blinding the cops. The two lovers shot up towards the ceiling, holding onto their lines and grinning widely under their masks. DK let out a whoop as the both clambered onto the rafters, unhooking themselves from the lines. Steve let one out as well and they both kissed each other through the masks, conveying the excitement and happiness they felt, even if it wasn't done very well.
"We gotta split up, dude."
"I know babe. Meet at her house, S?"
"Sounds like a plan, D. You got the gift?"
"Of course!"
"Then we gotta go! See you on the other side!"
"Psh, you're so dumb, S."
"You know you wouldn't have me any other way."
"I know I wouldn't. Love you babe."
"Love you too. Good luck!"
"Good luck!"
And with that, the two took off down different sides of the roof, bolting for freedom as the cops yelled down below them, determined to catch the two criminals this time. The two traveled over the rooftops, taking a roundabout way to get to Hafu's house, where they had all just given up on the two men making it to the party. That was until a man in a red beanie suddenly crashed through the window at high speeds, chased by sirens and bullets. The group of friends inside didn't even have time to finish their screams before a man in a black and purple baseball cap burst through the other window, shattering that one, too. The man in red scrambled up first and quickly grabbed his partner, hoisting him up, too.
He turned to the terrified group, making sure his face wasn't visible through the window that the two quickly moved away from. The red man yanked his mask down, revealing a familiar face to the group, who all gasped in shock.
"Hey Hafu! Happy Birthday! Sorry we're late and can't stay, this dumbass had to set the alarms off!"
"Hey! Not true! And here's you're gift, I promise we didn't steal it and it was bought with our legal, hard-earned money!"
"Dude, you sound so fucking sketchy! Don't say it like that!"
"We just burst through her windows babe! How do you want me to say it?! We're already sketchy!''
"Well, not like that! Oh yeah, and sorry bout the windows! We'll pay you back for those with our lEgAl MoNeY, probably tomorrow. We'll explain then, right now..."
"We gotta go! If they question you, just tell them that two crazy men held you at gunpoint and told you not to do anything before running through your house.''
"Yeah! C'mon babe, time to go! What a birthday, huh, Hafu?!"
"Yeah, happy birthday! See you tomorrow!"
And with that, Steve pulled his mask back on as the cops yelled at them to freeze, and they both bolted through the back door, cackling maniacally as they went. The whole group gaped after the two, and then the line of cops that ran after them, none of them believing the sight they had just seen. Two of their friends were the new criminal pair that had been wreaking havoc in Las Vegas and L.A.
And what a birthday that was as the two lovers ran off into the sunset, having the time of their lives as they lost the cops and raised hell in the city, leaving their friends to question everything they had previously thought about the two.
Ta daaaa! First one shot! I hope you enjoyed! Keep in mind:
Slow updates
Varying chapter lengths
Varying chapter types
All for fun
I love you all, take care of yourself!
YOU ARE READING
Crewfu one shots, cause why not?
FanfictionYou get the gist. You can request ships of anyone in the group, any ship with Hafu will be purely friendship unless it's with David, obviously. Also, no love ships with Tina, as she has said she doesn't want any of those. Will do smut, fluff, angst...
