Change of Seasons [HotchxReader]

(3) Daring

"Thanks for the food."

"You're welcome."

It's quiet for a moment. "Would you like to stay over?"

You hesitate. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

Aaron looks at his hands. Then he asks: "Why?"

Taking a deep breath, you force yourself to answer truthfully: "I'm scared."

His head shoots up: "Of me?"

"No! Well, yes...I-" You sigh. "I look different, Aaron. I move different."

His eyes dart over the parts of your body he's able to see. Then to your crane and back.

"That doesn't matter to me."

"It does to me. And also...I am scared of not remembering things. That you'll talk of something that I have no idea about."

Calmly, he puts his hands on the table: "I will never again blame you for not remembering something. That was not okay for me to do. Also..." He's as hesitant as you are. But he looks at you when he tells you: "I don't want to give up on this relationship."

Your heart gets heavy; however, you cannot help yourself but smile. You want to try, you really do..."I want to be with you again, but we...we are so far apart right now. I don't know if I can live up to your expectations." You admit with a small voice.

"You have no idea, do you?" Aaron leans closer.

You face falls: "I- you said you wouldn't be mad if I-"

"That's not what I'm getting at." He interrupts you. "Do you have any idea about the impact you had and continue to have on my life? How important you are? How much it matters to me that you are even sitting here right now?"

You mouth falls open. Slowly, you shake your head: "Apparently not."

"If it gets too much at any point, I will call you a taxi to get home. But please, stay."

Aaron's entire body is tense, he's holding his breath until you agree: "Okay."

- - - - - - - - -

"You don't have your meds. What do you need?"

"Do you have a muscle relaxant?"

Aaron nods and walks to the bathroom, leaving you sitting on his bed.

You're still not sure about this. On the one hand, it feels incredibly good to be here, on the other hand, you're still scared about, well, everything.

"Here." He hands you a cream. You take it and look at it without moving. Aaron observes you and asks after a few seconds: "Should I wait in the living room?"

You consider it for a moment. It's thoughtful of him. He probably knows how you feel. Even though you don't have visible scars – except the one on your neck – you feel anxious about your body.

"No. It's alight." You decide and get up. Taking off your dress shirt, you explain: "Today, in class, I insisted on standing up for the entire lecture and now my legs are giving me hell for it."

Aaron chuckles: "You're as stubborn as ever."

"Oh, yeah." You smile. Slowly, you start to get out of your dress pants. Pressing your lips together, you keep yourself from groaning.

"I can see that you are in pain." He comments. Looking at him for a second, you go on and tell him: "Yeah, well, I'm almost used to it by now."

"What did the doctor say about it?"