Taste for Devonne (Demi Lovato Fanfic)

Chapter 11

Demi's POV:

I have to be honest.  I'm nervous.

I've never been a very vulnerable person or someone who has allowed myself to be seen like this before.  I've never written a song about someone with that person... in the room...

I don't even know why I said yes except that Alex makes me feel so comfortable, and I know that with her I'm safe.  She wouldn't judge me or make me feel ridiculous.  If anything she makes me feel more... me...

And so I sit down at the piano in the back of my tour bus, where I have set up a makeshift studio, and I begin to play three chords, trying to think of a melodic line.  The words begin coming a little bit at a time.  What I expect is some love song to start pouring from me but instead I hear my voice, shaky with emotion, begin singing, "oh, I'm in a good place."  That's all that comes at first, over and over again, sometimes sounding more uncertain and other times stronger and more assured.  "I'm in a good place," over and over again.

After about ten minutes have passed I stop and take a deep breath.  I look up and realize Alex has tears running down her face. 

Alex's POV:

I was expecting a song about finding someone fun and exploring and experimenting and enjoying life.  Instead I am confronted with emotions about the past, present, and future.  It's a window into Demi's life and soul, and it's a side I haven't seen about things we've not yet talked about.

I didn't mean to cry.  I really didn't, but when Demi looks at me  I see it in those big brown eyes.  Worry about my reaction.  Worried about what I'm about to say.  I'm sure the tears pouring down my face aren't helping, either.

I chuckle a bit at the vulnerability we've both put on display here and wipe away my own tears before looking up for our eyes to meet.  Demi has a softened but concerned look and waits for me to say something.  Anything.

But all I can muster is, "thank you," as I reach out to take a hand in both of mine.  And then Demi breaks down.

There's something else.  There's a worry in Demi's face that's new and it's a more panicky, concerned, scared look.  And I know something really important is about to be spoken.

Demi's POV:

I swallow.  Hard.  And then before I can stop it, the words start pouring out.  "I'm in such a good place and I love being here with you and I'm healing.  But I've been thinking about a lot of things, and I don't even know how to say this or what you'll think but I have to be honest with you..."  I look up at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling and grip her hand harder.  I know I'm rambling and it isn't coherent, but if I can get the words out then at least I'll know if Alex really likes me for me.

"Umm.. Honestly, I just really like you, and I have to be honest.  I can't hide any part of myself; I need you to know everything, which is so hard because I just want you to like me so much.  But umm... I know you're new to dating girls and everything and are just starting your journey with all that.  I need to tell you -- I'm not a girl."  I chuckle a little to myself.  This is the first time saying it out loud, and it feels so freeing in that moment.

I look up and see an expression on Alex's face.  She looks open and empathetic but also confused, and I realize I need to clarify.  I left that quite open-ended because I was so wrapped up in the fact I was actually saying this out loud.

"Ok," she says before I have time to explain.  "I do like you a lot.  For exactly who you are.  So, what are your pronouns and what name should I use to refer to you?"  

And that's when the tears start.  Shaking, earth-shattering tears.  And I see her mood instantly shift to concern as she sits patiently, not moving any closer, but maintaining contact as she grips my hand, kissing my knuckles.

"Um, Demi is still ok.  Maybe let's stop with the Devonne/Susan joke.  And uh, I think they/them feels right but I haven't really tried it out because I've been too scared to tell anyone yet."

"Ok, Demi.  I'm so happy you told me.  Thank you for sharing this part of yourself and letting me into your world a little bit.  I know that this isn't easy, but I hope that you'll let me help make it easier," she responds.

And somehow that was everything I needed.

I smiled brightly at her and leaned in to kiss her, pausing to meet her gaze.  She kisses me back sweetly and lovingly, and in that moment I can feel our love story truly begin.  Our relationship is no longer milkshakes and "Mean Girls."  It's truth and sincerity and vulnerability.

Hey everyone!  Thanks for caring about this story!  I thought this was an important story to tell considering the journey Demi has been on since the first 10 chapters were posted.  I hope I did it justice.  I tried to keep it true to Demi and their character.