Milk Tea and Love notes | Yeonbin ✓

4

Soobin knows he cannot hint at Yeonjun about his feelings because he treasures their friendship more to the point a little disturbance to it would put him in distress. 

Thinking about that makes him want to cry, like right now. But for Yeonjun's sake, he pushes the tears down, rubs at his eyes harshly. He tries to smile through the unexpected tears. "I'm sorry, I just h-had a bad day, is all." He lies.

"We don't have to go out, let's just go home, we'll put on a movie a-and I'll cook for you!" Yeonjun's words jumble together. His eyes look wide and hopeful.

It makes Soobin want to cry harder, and fall for him harder, been if that's possible. Normally Yeonjun would tease Soobin for crying, even though he is a crybaby himself; but today it's different. Yeonjun should have sensed something in Soobin's expression because he doesn't make fun of him, he just rubs Soobin's back lightly as he waits for him to calm down.

Soobin rubs at his eyes once more and stands up, thankful for the empty room as Yeonjun gave him his space; also thankful that Yeonjun wasn't there to witness his breakdown. 

"Okay, let's go," he comes out soon after trying to act as nothing happened and walks ahead.

"Soobinie," Yeonjun's voice is so soft and slow.

"Yes, hyung," Soobin utters, just as soft as him, turning back, facing Yeonjun waiting for him to continue.

Yeonjun doesn't say anything for a long moment. Then. he steps closer. Takes his hand up, reaching Soobin's cheeks and wiping away the stray tear that had managed to stay up until now.

It's moments like this that make Soobin heart beat faster, and his knees go weaker. It makes his chest feel too tight for him to contain the emotion that blankets him.

It is also these moments that make him hopeful, which is the worst of all. Too much for having the thought move on. 

"Don't cry Soobin, please," Yeonjun says, 'please' so quietly that Soobin thinks it might just be his imagination. He wipes another tear so gently that Soobin barely feels the touch. His heart races, pounds against his ribcage.

Yeonjun looks so serious, and there's something else in his expression that Soobin doesn't know how to define. He sees the same expression that he sees very regularly, but he still hasn't figured out the meaning behind it. 

"Okay," Soobin nods, tries his best to smile to lighten up the mood. He takes off Yeonjun's hands and then looks down at him, a mischievous grin on, "If you buy me food, maybe, just maybe I'll cheer up a bit!" and Yeonjun just laughs at the younger and nods. 

Even if he is sad now, Yeonjun is wiping his tears away and also buying him food, it's more than what Soobin ever could ask for. 

So Soobin follows Yeonjun out of the apartment and he sticks a bit closer to Yeonjun than normal, not that Yeonjun would complain anyway.

After the joyful dinner, an hour of walk around the neighborhood Soobin is curled up into a ball in his bed later that night; heart both heavy and light with so many emotions. He is trying to sleep, but nothing is helping him right now.

So he thinks about the day again. He thinks about Yeonjun's smile, and his laugh, and how happy he looked today as they ate dinner at their usual place. He is always happy to eat in that place and so is Soobin. Soobin's heart yearns for him, even after two years. It seems as if his feelings are just getting stronger as time passes, rather than weaker like Soobin has been hoping.

He's going to cry again, isn't he?

It's all because of that letter.

Soobin squeezes his eyes shut, trying to disperse the dark cloud in his head.

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pls do comment your thoughts, it just motivates me a lot!

love you cheesecakes ♡