Our Secret (A MingPha Story)

18. Darkness of Despair

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" 

Phana screams, tearing his arms away from the guards to rush to Ming's side. He uncontrollably shakes Ming's unconscious body, and his sobbing increases within the dusty, compact room. Everyone else looks away, the sight of Phana is too hurtful to see. 

Kao silently mourns with his eyes closed. Tommy stares at Phana with a blank face, void of all emotions. Korn smirks with joy at the sight of pain and despair. Jay stays composed beside Korn, silently observing Phana. 

Phana covers his fragile thin body on Ming, inhaling his scent and blood that has begun to drench his shirt. He whispers as quietly as he can. "I love you too." 

Phana reaches into his pants and grabs the gun he had hidden inside. He wants to end this. Nothing is hopeful anymore. He does not want to endure this pain without Ming by his side. His world is grey. Darkness is everywhere. 

His loud sobs mask the click of the gun loaded into place. The ends of his fingers glide against Ming's pyjama top and Phana feels his shattered heart break a little more. 

In a flash, he pulls out the gun and holds it to his head, wanting to pull the trigger. The gun is wrestled from him and he pops his eyes open to see Kao in front of him, they make eye contact. Kao shakes his head in despair. 

Kao's action drives Phana to desperation. He wails loudly and tugs the gun back into his grip. Everyone stays silent and looks on as Kao and Phana fight amidst the cold hard floor. 

Bang! 

A gunshot is heard. 

Phana chokes out a gasp, his hands coated in crimson. He looks at Kao, tears filling his eyes as he grips his bloodied hands. Kao gives him an assuring smile and drops still on the ground, his eyes slowly turning black before he closes them with his last gaze fixated on Tommy. 

"Clean up this mess!" A voice sends a million chills up Phana's skin. That man is here! "Throw him in the cell together with the boy. And you, my dearest boy, come here..." He pulls Phana from the ground forcefully. Phana flinches and trembles in terror. "Let's get you cleaned up, shall we?" He drags Phana away. 

.

.

.

.

"I'm leaving!!" 

"What?! No... Let us just plan ano-"

"No!!! I'm leaving right now! Ming is dead! I'm sure of it! So is Kao! And Phana will be tortured and raped by that evil bastard!! Wayo is missing!!! For the last time, I'm leaving!!"

"Beam..." Forth begs in despair. "Please..." 

"Forth... Please... I can't do this anymore... I can't be strong... We can't save them... We can't..." Beam sinks to the floor and sobs. 

Kit cries into Kaownah's arms. He is worried about Wayo, Ming, and Phana. Max, Tul, Park and Lam stand still, taking in the situation of their plan and how their comrades are injured and maybe dead. Fiat stays silent, waiting for Earth's lead. Any lead. Now that Ming and Kao are not around, everyone looks to Earth now. 

Earth signs. He is lost. He lost Kao. He lost Ming. He lost Wayo. He lost Phana. He has lost to the enemy. He has no plan. He has no courage and determination to go on. 

Kaownah sees his despair. His hopelessness. His light is fading. He fights hard not to break down. He does not want to believe Kao could be dead at the hands of the enemy. To him, Kao is his family, his brother, and his hero. His hero is unable to perish.