desert gorge

chapter eight

trigger warning for transphobia!

Even now, three years after coming out as transgender to his parents, Julio still had nightmares about their reaction. Maybe it was because they'd stayed silent throughout, no hint of any emotion, or it could have been what followed (sent away to live in Colorado, no contact with his own twin for almost a year, parents refusing to pay for tuition, not knowing his parents had died until he saw a remembrance post on Facebook three months later), but whichever way it was the worst part of his life. The dread of falling asleep weighed him down, and when nightmares hit there was always a feeling of cold emptiness, bone deep.

It was brutal and sometimes he wished, just a little, that he'd never come out in the first place. Other times, Julio looked back and wished that he had waited just a couple more years, graduated, went to college, the works. Had a little more time with his family before everything went to hell in a handbasket.

Cold water enveloped his body as Julio stepped into the shower, and he hissed while scrambling for the knob. "Dear Lord almighty Jesus, why is that so fffffreaking cold?" He paused for a moment to listen for any noise from Liz's room, then sighed when he stepped back into the warmer spray. It was nearly two in the morning, and he knew that it probably wasn't the best time to shower due to the need to stay quiet, but Julio had always calmed down from the nightmares this way.

As he ran the soap over his body in no particular pattern, he wondered a little about Aspen Burn's case.

He'd know a little about her, of course. Liz sometimes texted him about her girlfriend, offhandedly mentioning their dates or funny things Aspen said at the lunch table. Once and a while, he could strain a little and remember her from middle school—their seats were two apart in eighth grade Algebra, and sometimes she smiled at Julio in the hallways. Otherwise, their friend groups were largely separate: him being a little bit of an outcast and only hanging out with Liz most of the time, Aspen having a couple close friends along with knowing most of the student body either personally or tangentially.

In fact, Aspen was practically worshipped by the entire town. Grandmas begged her to come knit with them while trying new recipes, mothers asked her to babysit when they had a family emergency or plans fell through, and most of the younger people asked if she had plans for lunch or wanted to see a movie on the weekend. That's why it was surprising to Julio that someone would kidnap her, and he couldn't help but wonder if something much darker was going on here. There hadn't been a major crime in Desert Gorge for nearly half a century, and suddenly the town's most beloved resident goes missing in broad daylight?

It almost seemed sinister.

The shower sputtered a little, drawing him from his thoughts, then ran out of hot water. Julio yelped and jumped away from the spray, knocking over a bunch of products on the shelf and only saving himself from hitting the ground by barely grasping the rail they'd installed years ago.

"Julio? Are you okay in there?" His sister's voice rang out from the hallway. "I heard a bunch of stuff fall down."

He grimaced. "Uh...yeah, I'm okay!" His voice could have sounded upbeat if Liz hadn't been his twin sister and known Julio for his entire life.

She rapped on the door impatiently, then proclaimed, "I'm coming in. Don't worry, I just need to pee now that you woke me up."

Long after she left, Julio remained stagnant inside the tub, knuckles white with their hold on the railing beside him. The water was still cold, and he shivered frequently, but he paid it no mind.

Something was wrong with Liz, and he couldn't figure out what. She'd never acted like this before, even when Penelope had...passed...and the twins went into what he basically thought of as a depressive stupor. Then, she'd been depressed and angry and upset all rolled up into one mood. Now, Liz almost acted like she didn't care that her girlfriend was missing.