Hi my name is castor soliman 28 years old, maputi, 5'7 ang height, slim, at higit sa lahat I am gay and I just lost my star.
Since that day, you and I became close. I remembered you were my seatmate that time and it is our first day of school. Siyempre hinding hindi mawawala ang pag papakilala sa harapan.
Nagpakilala na kaming lahat at ikaw nalang yung natira, you stood up and walked in front and you told us your name... "My name is Orion Smith I am a half american and half filipino I hope I can be friends with you all thank you." Hindi ko maalis ang mga mata ko sa mukha mo, napaka amo kasi at mas lalo pa akong naexcite since your name is a star just like mine.
In-arrange ng prof yung seats natin at sa di inaasahan you were my seatmate. I am so happy that time kasi I want to know you more, I want to explore what kind of star are you. And I decided to build a bond with you no matter what.
"Araw araw kitang kinakausap at kinukulit. Gusto ko kasi kunin lagi ang atensyon mo." You can call me selfish but I can't stop myself from exploring this star in front of me. Until one day I realized I fell for him. Not just about creating a bond but I want more!
We became closer, he was my shoulder to cry on and I am his, we cut classes together and sometimes we travel wherever our feet will lead us.
The closeness we have, The more I want to be with him for the rest of my life. But the only thing that will make it happen is to confess my feelings. And that is what I did.
I confessed my feelings but to my surpirse he feel the same way about me. And we became officially boyfriends. I am so happy because finally the star that i've dreamt of was finally mine to love and care.
Years passed and we are near to our goal, and I am kinda happy that time because I knew that he was there for me and I was there for him. We have different path to cross but we support each other. He wants to enter the world of idols whilst I want to teach children. But my true dream was to be with him for the rest of my life.
Graduation day... This was our moment. The tears, sweat and pain we had for the past years were paid of. Every student had smiles on their faces. Of course I am all smiles that time because standing beside me was the man of my life.
One by one we marched to get the diplomas and to take pictures with the dean's and when it was my turned. I saw him 'orion' talking with someone at the back, I am curious that time but I stopped myself from asking him until the ceremony is over.
After the speeches and songs, the ceremony is over and I went to my parents and hug them and then i went to orion and kissed him and asked him who was the woman. He told me that the woman wants to hire him to be an idol on their company, i was shocked that time because I didn't expect it to be early but I am still happy because finally his dream will come true.
But, I didn't know that something will change, When you finally became an idol that you've dreamt of.
Years have passed and you finally became an outstanding idol, there's a lot of movies, series and modelings that you've done. Marami ring mga kumpanya na kinukuha ka para irepresenta ang mga produkto nila. Naging masa ka ng bayan. Samantalang ako nagtuturo lamang ng mga bata sa isang pampublikong paaralan. Ayos lang sakin sapagkat masaya naman ako sa ginagawa ko, pero minsan di ka masaya para sakin kasi sakto lang ang kinikita ko at sinabi mong wala akong patutunguhan dito, nanahimik nalang ako kasi ayaw kong mag away tayo.
Time flies at palabo na ng palabo ang relasyon namin ni Orion, naging mas hectic ang schedule niya at nawawalan na rin siya ng time sa akin. Minsan nga di na siya umuuwi sa bahay namin. Lagi na lang akong mag isa. Pero hindi iyon naging dahilan para hiwalayan ko siya, he just pursuing his dreams kaya I am just supporting him with all my heart kahit minsan di niya na ako naalala.
"One time nung nasa bahay ako. Binuksan ko yung TV at saktong movie mo yung bumungad sakin, I am all smiles since nakita kitang nakamit mo na pangarap mo, pero yung ngiti kong iyon nawala rin. Nakita ko kasing may kahalikan ka sa movie na iyon. Napaka passionate niyo, you are so into her, biglang kumirot puso ko, I know it was just a movie pero shit ang sakit kasi makita yung mahal mong may kahalikang iba. Iba ung impact!!"
After nung nakita ko yun. Umiyak nalang ako at saka natakot at nangamba na baka iwan mo ako. At ng dahil dun ginawa ko ang lahat para sa akin ka parin umuwi. I fixed myself, umalis ako sa pinag tatrabahuan ko, lagi akong pumupunta sa mga shoots mo para bantayan ka. Pero patago lamang ito, it was like I am a fan and you were my idol. Hanggang tingin lang ako sayo kasi ayaw kong gumawa ng gulo pag nalaman nilang may karelasyon ka pala.
I am so eager for your attention that time and too scared that one time wala kana sa piling ko. I am exhausted sa totoo lang, pero kailangan ko pa rin kayanin ang lahat for my star.
One time umuwi ka sa bahay at binigyan kita ng halik. Kaso parang nabigla ka, I am fucking hurt, anong ibig sabihin nun?? Yan ang tanong na di ko makalimutan.
Days passed and naging awkward ang relasyon nating dalawa lagi narin tayong nag aaway. Halos di kana rin umuuwi ng bahay. I got scared so I decided to follow you.
Sumakay ako ng taxi... And the taxi stopped at xxxx hotel. I followed you silently until you stopped. Kumatok ka sa isang room tas bumukas ito. Laking gulat ko ng makita ko yung babaeng kahalikan mo dun sa movie na napanuod ko. Pumasok kayong dalawa sa room. At dahil dun agad kitang tinawagan para tanungin kung nasan ka, ang sinabi mo nasa shoot ka. The fuck ang sakit. He lied to me. Dahil sa galit na naramdaman ko humiram ako ng susi sa front desk at sinabi kong kapatid ako nung nakatira dun i want to surprise her, wag mong sabihin, sinabi ko kay ateng nasa lobby. And she lent me the key..
I am infront of the door. I am praying na sana walang nangyayari pero napaka imposible.
Binuksan ko na ito gamit ang susi at sa pagkabigla ko nakita ko sila nasa ibabaw ni Orion yung babae, hubot hubad silang dalawa.
Ang sakit. I just cried, nakita nila akong dalawa at bigla silang nagbihis, inis ang nakita ko dun sa babae samantalang pagkabigla ang nakita ko kay Orion. But you know what I did? I wiped my tears and smiled at them and I told them I was sorry for disturbing them and then I rushed out.
Nung nasa labas na ako dun na ako napahagulhol sa sobrang sakit. Tas naglakad na ako habang humahagulgol. Pero bago pa ako makasakay ng elevator may naramdaman akong kamay sa aking likod. Alam kong si Orion yun, alam ko kasi ang mga hawak at haplos niya.
Iniharap niya ako at humingi siya ng tawad sakin. Paulit ulit siyang humihingi ng tawad sa akin. Habang umiiyak ako tinanong ko siya sino pipiliin mo siya oh ako?
Alam niyo yung sagot niya siyempre siya. Sinabi niya rin sakin matagal na nilang ginawa yun, sinabi niya rin saking mabibigyan niya daw siya ng anak tas hindi pa masisira imahe niya sa publiko. When i heard that I just cried wala akong masabi dahil sa sobrang sakit. Nahihirapan akong huminga, sinampal ko siya tas nginitian ko siya.
"I told him I was once your star but now you lost me. Napakasakit Orion pero desisyon mo yan. Hindi kasi kita mabibigyan ng anak, ng pamilya na inaasam mo. Hindi mo rin ako maipagmamalaki sa publiko sapagkat lalaki ako at baka masira imahe mo. I gave up my dream of teaching children, I gave up everything for you Orion...just to support you I-I gave up everything.... I am sorry for not being the one you really wanted... Mahal na mahal kita Orion pero this is it. Ayaw ko na magpakatanga at maging sagabal sa future niyo. sana maging masaya ka sa buhay mo. Paalam Orion." Yan ang mga huling katagang sinabi ko sa kanya bago ako tuluyang umalis sa buhay niya.
Present;
Ilang taon na nakalipas, hanggang ngayon hindi ko na siya nakita pang muli. Sa TV kona lamang siya nakikita.
One day. Nanunuod ako ng TV nakita kong ini-interview nila si Orion. Tinanong siya kung ano ang biggest regret niya sa buhay niya. Ngumiti lamang siya at biglang sinabing. "That time when I lost my star"..
The end ☺️
