The pain of life

My light

       When I was younger I was always looked up to by the other children in my grade because I was a 'rebel' I never really meant to do anything bad I just felt the need to have attention because my parents would ignore me at home. I struggled with sitting still, talking to other kids, and being quiet at school. I never really talked to anyone unless they asked me a question or wanted to talk to me. I never had any friends that understood me because they never went through the things I did as a child. The other kids at school always made fun of me because I liked to dress like a boy when I was supposed to be a girl, I told people that the stuff they said never got to me but deep down I knew it did. I knew that every word that came out of their mouthes made me slowly believe that the things they said were true and that I was a disgrace, annoying, ugly, weird. I know that i was different than them but why did they have to make fun of me? My sister said it was because they were insecure about themselves so they had to take that out on other people. I get that they are hurting as much as I am but their words made me hurt more than they could ever imagine. There was this one kid in my class though, he was there for me throughout everything i went through, even though I didn't tell him everything he still stuck by my side. He would follow me around the halls and stay by my side in lines, he said that it was so he could protect me but I knew that he was lonely and sad just like me. He is the reason I am here now and i'm the reason he's here now. My parents they saw how close me and him were and they didn't like that, they said that he wasn't allowed to be at my house anymore because he was a boy and that he was going to do bad stuff to me. I never believed them though I told them that he would never hurt me and that he had protected me since we were in 2nd grade, but my parents wouldn't have it. I ended up disobeying their rules and saying that I was going to my other friends house when really I went to his every time, his parents were fine with this and understood that our friendship could never be broken. Are friendship lasted all of elementary school but wasn't very strong in 4th grade because he had to move houses. But one day I called him and told him to come over. When he got to my house we went in my backyard and sat in our treehouse. I gave him a bracelet that magnetize together and told him that no matter what our parents do that I won't ever leave him like our friends left us. (And yes I know this sounds like some cheesy romance story between best friends but this isn't that kind of story this is a story about too sad dumbasses finding their light in the dark.) But once we graduated primary school I was scared that I would end up losing him for life. We still keep in contact even though he lives in another state, we even synced are sleep schedules. But I have always been scared that I was going to lose him. I am sure I eventually I'm sure I will but for now I will savor this love for as long as I can.
         -Malian