"Hindi ko na rin alam," I paused while contemplating what I should tell him.
I heard his sobs from the other end of the call.
Dati, nahahabag ako sa tuwing maririnig ko siyang umiiyak. Para bang binagsakan ng langit ang puso ko sa tuwing makikita o maririnig ko siyang nasasaktan. I don't know why I feel numb this time around. Maybe I'm tired? Is this how should I feel if I am goddamn exhausted?
"I need space, Migo..." I trailed off. This is honestly too easy for me if I wasn't just an asshole with a fucking conscience. I have zero fucks to give but I don't think I can tell him I want to break up without somehow ripping my heart out.
Me and my stupid feelings.
"Migo, I am so done with this relationship. I am tired. I need space." Paulit ulit na ako ng sinasabi and the only response I can hear is his loud cries. Hinablot na ni Kate ang cellphone ko at dagliang in-end ang call. I just looked at her with my tired eyes.
It was rude yes, but hell, the things we do for our loved ones so I understand her on that part. Kate is my cousin, saksi sa lahat ng katangahan at pasakit ko kay Migo. Maybe it wasn't right, but I don't really have the energy to argue. This relationship drained the shit out of me.
"I'm blocking him on everything," Tiningnan ko lang ang mga pinsan kong na-interrupt sa pag-inom dahil sa dramang ito ng buhay ko. I smiled at them. Naghiyawan sila at saka tumalon talon.
"2 case pa para sa pusong bigo, whooooo!!" Ani Cyrus. Nakigulo naman si Tin kay Kate na ngayon ay iniisa isa ang social media apps ko para maiblock si Migo.
"Anong bigo? Mali ka don, kapatid. Nakalaya na si Via!" I nodded as an affirmation sa sinabi ni JD. Naglabas pa ako ng dalawang 1000 peso bill para makabili pa sila ng 2 case pa ng beer. Naghiyawan sila ulit ng iniabot ko ito kay Cyrus.
"Yown, ang saya mo masaktan ate V!" Ngiting ngiti ito papalabas.
"Tara JD, kunin mo susi ng saksakyan," anito kay JD. Inapiran ako ni JD bago umalis. Naiwan kaming tatlo ni Kate at Tin. Nilagok ko ang huling shot ng mojito na nasa harap ko.
"Pwede ka na umiyak," Kate looked at me with her eyes pitying. I hate it when people do that. I am vulnerable but that doesn't give them the right to feel sorry for me.
"Hindi ako naiiyak." Ngumiti lang ako. Umalis si Tin para palakasan ang tugtog.
"Dapat dyan tita, sinasayaw mo!" anito at pinatayo ako para diumano'y sumayaw. Natawa na lang ako at sumayaw sa mga trend ng tiktok ngayon.
3 years, mag aapat kami ni Migo. Mahal ko siya, pero hindi na enough para mag stay. Laging nag aaway at nagkakaabusuhan, hindi ko na kaya. I can't believe.
"Via,"
Fuck. I gasped in between my breath.
Tiningnan ko si Kate na ngayon ay halatang nabigla din sa narinig na boses. Tangina.
