The Art - cash au -

The Silence is Deafening

Cameron POV
My life is over.

I'm done. There's nothing that can be done for me.

I haven't gone near a pool in months, it's too painful. My physical therapist wanted to do some water therapy, that was a very firm fuck no.

I can't deny that I'm depressed, I am. I'm so deeply, truly sad. Nothing can make me happy, not even Shawn. I love it when he plays and sings for me, he just sang a new song for me, 'Life of the Party'. He said I inspired it and it did make me smile, it made me happy but it didn't last long. I slipped back into the same deep sadness that has settled into my soul.

Swimming was everything to me.

The asshole who plowed into me didn't even get hurt, he was driving drunk. I made sure to attend every court hearing, I didn't want him to get off easy. He only got a few years in prison and I got a lifetime with a bad leg and the knowledge of never being able to fulfill my dream. It was all over the news, daytime shows want to interview me but it's too soon.

I should be deep in the middle of training for the Olympics, instead I'm lying in bed despondently staring out the window.

I can walk without crutches now, my gait is back to normal, my muscles are strong but I'll never swim competitively again. I had this crazy thought that maybe I could do it, that maybe if I worked hard enough I could do it again. But the legs are the powerhouse of a swimmer, and a leg with a rod in it just isn't going to ever be strong enough to compete against high performing swimmers. I didn't swim to lose, I swam to win, to achieve greatness, to have my name etched in record books.

I was so close, so close to getting there and now I have nothing but a leg that aches on rainy days. I stare at the pictures on the walls, at the gold medals hanging proudly and if I close my eyes I can almost hear the roar of the crowd as the cheer for me, the smell of chlorine and the weight of the medal hanging around my neck.

I let out a sigh, I'm not happy with this depressed person that I've become. I was never like this. I rub my eyes and let out another sigh, my phone buzzes next to me and I pick it up.

It's Shawn. I smile a little at the sigh of my boyfriend's name. He basically is the only person that can even coax a smile out of me. I still love him so much.

I unlock my phone to see what he sent. Sometimes he sends clips of songs he's working on, sometimes it's pictures of him in the studio, anything he sends brings a smile to my face.

Shawn😻- hey Cam we need to talk, can I come over?

I frown, he never asks if he can come over, he usually just shows up.

Me- of course babe, you're always welcome. You know that.

He doesn't reply so I figure he's on his way.

I get up and throw some clothes on, I don't want to look like a bum when he gets here. I stopped working out and I didn't start even when I was cleared to by my doctor. My body has lost muscle and they aren't as defined. Even my six pack is fading. I know I should hit the gym but I don't want to.

I go downstairs and lie down on the couch to wait for Shawn, I turn on the TV and it's just my luck that they're showing a clip of the last time I was in a pool at the World Championships. My finger hovers over the power button but I don't press it. My eyes are fixated on the screen as I watch myself break the world record and hoist myself out of the pool with a grin on my face. I would give anything to return to that day. I finally turn off the tv when they begin to talk about my "tragic" accident.

The door bell rings and I get up with a smile on my face. I go to the door and I open it to reveal Shawn. I lean in and press my lips to his, they're barely touching for a couple seconds before he pulls away with a small smile on his face.