The Art - cash au -

The Art of Starting Over Again

Nash POV

"So this is it then?" I ask him. I'm sitting on the bench and staring out into the clear blue water of the pool. My hair falls over my eyes and I push it out of the way.

My eyes are probably red; they sting from a combination of the chlorine and tears.

I have no one to blame but myself. I put myself in this situation, I was so stubborn and I didn't listen to Cameron when he begged me not to go down that fucking slope.

The slope that ruined me.

"This is it." He replies softly and I know there's no way I could ever get through this without him. He knows the pain of what I'm going through. He knows that words won't bring my career back. He's supporting me so amazingly because he knows how I feel, he felt that same pain.

That same gaping hole in my life where competitive swimming used to be.

I thought I had four more years of swimming. My passion.

But I don't and it's my fault.

I knew as soon as I lost my balance on the slopes that it was going to be a bad fall. I made sure my legs were okay but I landed on my wrist. The wrist that is now pinned together.

We had hoped that because it was just my wrist that I'd be able to make it to the next Olympics but my times are so far away from what I used to be at that it's just not possible.

I'm going to have to be happy with the 16 gold medals that I have proudly hung on the wall of our home.

I wanted more, I wanted to push myself more.

I trained extra hard, harder than I've ever trained before but even with all of that effort the strength of my strokes is no longer there.

So here I sit, staring at the clear blue waters of the pool that has been my home for years. The empathy in Cameron's eyes soothes me and makes this whole thing bearable. He's been with me every step up the way, he was there in the hospital, through surgery and with Mahogany when I jumped into the pool for the first time in months.

It's kind of ironic that his leg cost him his swimming career and that my arm cost me mine but I'm the one to blame for my situation.

It burns my soul, I dream about making another decision, about listening to Cameron and going down the slopes we knew. I wonder how life would be if I had made the right choice.

Regardless, my reality is that my competitive swimming career is done with and I'm going to have to be okay with it.

I'm not now, but I know I will be and it's solely due to the man that sits beside me now.

Life is just the art of living on.

The end

A/n- sorry if you don't like this ending. 😕