The Double Life

chapter seven

"what did you mean when you said you 'haven't been in a hospital since...'?" I ask Jace once we get back to my house.

He looks at me and takes a deep breath before answering. "I tried to kill myself last year." he says, avoiding my eyes. I look at him, dumbfounded.

"why did you.. why would you do that?" I ask him softly.

"I may as well just tell you the whole story. in kindergarten my mom knew there was something wrong with me. She figured I was just really nervous for the first day of school considering I was sweating and shaking. she brushed it off. The same thing happened in first grade. She got a bit more concerned but still decided to ignore it. When second grade came around, she took me to a doctor. Nothing would calm me down. I got nervous before every day of school. I used to cry and get made fun of because I cried. The doctor confirmed I had Anxiety. they gave me pills and I continued on as the happy kid I should be." he explained, his voice breaking when he said he had anxiety. I take one of his hands in mine and rest my head on his shoulder.

"I was fine until seventh grade. Jr. High school. I was a nervous wreck. My friend Kristen came over because my mom called her. I wouldn't leave my room. Kristen was my best friend back then. She talked to me to calm me down and then told me she wouldn't leave my side. And she didnt. until eighth grade when she became a cheerleader bitch." he said, sighing as he remembered.

"then 9th grade came along. high school. I had an anxiety attack for the first time. sure, I had anxiety before, but nothing like this. short of breath, hands shaking, screaming, crying, you name it. I couldn't control it. I had made a new friend by then. Nate. my mom called him. he came over. calmed me down. I guess I just need someone to tell me it's not the end of the world and I'm going to be fine. But anyways, that was the only anxiety attack I had that year Tenth grade, I was fine. I guess since I was familiar with the school. So I don't know what changed last year..." he said, trailing off. I tipped his chin up to look at me.

"Jace you don't have to continue. I Know it's probably hard for you to tell this story. im glad you opened up to me as much as you did." I tell him. He gives me a sad smile.

"I'm already this far, might as well finish. The beginning of last year, my parents weren't home on the first day of school. since I had been fine the year before, they decided they didn't need to stay home. well, I had an anxiety attack. it was more like a panic attack it was so bad. i came home from school that day and tried to overdose. that's why I was in the hospital. My parents came home and found me and that's why I'm still alive." jace finishes. he looks so heartbroken after telling this story that I stand up and pull him into a tight hug. I feel his tears on my shoulder after a while, but I don't say anything. I just hold him tightly.

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authors note: sorry, short little chapter. but now you know more about jace. sorry I didn't update for so long, I've had a lot on my mind. I based jace off of my best friend and some of this has been happening with him. he's doing good though. not sure when the next update will be. and I wrote this at 11:15 pm and didn't edit it so sorry if there's grammatical errors. see you guys soon <3