Da Holiee Bible of My Hood

Accepting the bread and wine..

So we be in dat Israel place or some shit. Jesus was wit his homies, and the niggas was eatin dinner. Jesus at duh dinna table, was all like. “Yo my niggas.”  The nigga pulls out some bread. It wasn’t that fancy baguette shit, but it was bread. And no, it wasn’t a damn croissant shit, that’s just too fancy, cuz iz all buttery and swirly and shit. Jesus was all like “Yo, this is my body, but it ain’t really my body. Is just bread! If y’all niggas thought you was eating my body, den you must be really dumb. Dayum nigga. But yeah… This is my body, and when y’all eats it, you will go to my crib when you die.” The nigga handed the bread, and his homies was eatins it so fast, mang. Like dayum. After dem niggas were done grubbin, Jesus pulled out some wine. “Dayum yo, we boughtta get drunk in this bitch,” he said. “Sike yo, this is my blood. But it ain’t actually my blood, becuz dat’s nasty. I would give you some Jesus AIDS or some shit, das gross. But yeh, if y’all niggas drink this wine, you gets to come to Heaven and chill at my cribs. Yo and also, Heaven’s got some nice ass angel biddies. So get fucked up drinking my blood, and you’ll go to Heaven, yo.” Sooo, if y’all niggas wanna go check out Jesus’ fresh ass crib, y’all gots to eat his body and blood. Annn, by that we mean eat his bread and drink dat wine. We know that wine ain’t that Alize shit. Deal with it, and drink yo asses off. Amen, my niggas.