Miss Communication

Miss Communication Part 2 Momentum Still Lost

Matt – Part 2

I knew I was a spanker when I was nine years old. I remember seeing this spanking scene in a movie. I acted unaffected, but for days, all I could think about was spanking every girl I saw. The need never left but it wasn't till my first year of college when I started exploring this side of me.

I found out that I wasn't alone. My college had a community for spankos which was very active online. I went to a few munches and made some friends and soon enough I met Ella, my first spanking girlfriend. She was one of those students who got lost in college. Her grades were slipping, and she was partying and drinking too much. She was about to lose her scholarship and she needed help. I worked with her to set up some rules and boundaries. She had to follow those or she would be soundly punished. If she did well I rewarded her by allowing her to go to a party. It worked so well that by the end of the first semester she was getting her best grades ever.

It turned out that I was a natural disciplinarian. I did my best working with those who really needed me. I had a knack for understanding how to help them and how to use that punishment and reward system to motivate them. It didn't matter if they were girls or boys. The need was simply to help them through.

Discovering that I was asexual was complicated and hard to accept. I had to work hard to come to terms with not being sexually attracted to anyone. Once I was able to accept myself it worked for the better. Eliminating the sex from my discipline focused relationships seemed to help with more focus and better result for both of us.

I met Riley in an asexual munch. I was working on my MA in computer science. She was nothing like my type. I was attracted to those who really needed me. Riley had everything together. She was an engineering student with a solid 4.0 GPA. She got plenty of sleep. She did her homework and gladly put the time to do extra projects and be involved in the community. She did an internship every single summer and they became paid after her second one. She was what I helped my wards become. She wasn't what I was looking for at all. She is who I fell for hard though. I have loved her from the moment I got to know her, and I would continue to love her till the end of my time.

I asked Riley about spanking once. Her reaction wasn't mean. It just made it clear that it wasn't part of her. I had to make a choice, and I chose her. I have not spanked or even entertained the idea of a spanking till a few moments ago when I told my vanilla wife I should spank her bottom.

Riley's look following this statement was hard to bear. It was a mixture of hurt and shock and a complete lack of understanding. She looked betrayed.

"What did you just say?" Her voice was frozen in anger

I sighed sadly "Sorry Riles. It was out of place"

She glared at me furiously "You bet your ass it was. Who do you think you are speaking to me like that? Do I look like a child?"

I looked at her sadly. The truth was that yeah she did look like a child, and a lost one at that. She wasn't though. Riley wasn't a spanko. I didn't get to tell her to help her fix it. This was on her and it seems it's how she wants it right now. "You are not a child Riles" I promised "It was just something said in the heat of moment I promise"

We fought for a bit longer. I could see how hurt she was just by looking at her. She was so upset with the comment that at points it made her tear up. All I could do was to keep promising her that I don't think she needed to be spanked and that I am not trying to take control over a situation that should be for her to solve.

After what seemed like forever she finally believed me. It was a rough fight though and for the first time ever I was worried for my marriage. I came out of it determined not to ever mention spanking ever again. I plan to do anything I can to stick to my end of the deal.

And so I know I can't spank her. I won't even talk to her about it. Riley is vanilla and I understand and respect that.

There is just one problem. It awoke my inner spanker. Lately, it's been all I could think about.