The needle in the brain (a ballad of songbirds and snakes fic, Coriolanus/Casca)

2.

One hour later, Coriolanus was walking down the streets of Panem, his pace fast and steady in an attempt to reach home before the sun decided starting to set.
People along the way kept congratulating him for his victory, and he felt as if a part of his heart got torn to shreds at every compliment he received.
Soon, everyone would know.
His head had fallen in a state of chaos: thoughts and doubts ran back and forth, in a futile attempt to prevaricate one another.
He finally reached his once beautiful and now only dilapidated palace and stepped into his penthouse apartment wishing to be able to avoid everyone, but getting no such luck.
"Where have you been!" Tigris cheered along with the Granma'am, clapping and presenting him with a beautiful cake, which must've cost them a little fortune.
Coriolanus stared at them both, a weak, little smile playing at the corner of his lips, a smile that couldn't just reach his eyes.
He couldn't take it, he simply couldn't: he'd ruined everything, lost all they had left, and all because of his arrogance and assumed sentiments for a girl, no a TRIBUTE, to make matters worse.
"I need to speak with you." He told Tigris, letting his facade slip away as he turned towards his own bedroom.
"Of course!" She said, following him with a confused expression. "Are you all right?"
"No, I'm not." Coriolanus exhaled faintly, closing the door behind his cousin and sitting on the bed nearby.
"I've been expelled. None knows yet, but it will soon be public knowledge." He admitted, avoiding his cousin's inspecting gaze, filled with shame.
Were they going to die of hunger, now? Their meals had always been meager, but could they stand another winter without the few privileges they had?
"What are you talking about?! You just won the Games, we saw it on the television..."
"I was caught cheating, Tigris."
His cousin shook her head in disbelief.
"Cheating! But how...?!"
"It doesn't matter now, I've been made. Highbottom summoned me to his office right after the winner's announcement and kicked me out on the spot, without even batting and eyelash."
"Oh, Coryo..."
"Yes, he couldn't have found a better opportunity to finally get rid of me... still, it doesn't matter anymore."
"But what is going to happen now? Will they arrest you for treason?" Tigris folded her arms, as if trying to somehow comfort herself.
"No, not yet, at least, though... " he paused abruptly, unable to confess that he'd turned down the only opportunity to spare her and the Grandma'am further pain and retribution.
Refusing to submit to the Dean's suggestion to elope was quite surely going to earn him an even worse punishment.
"I'm in a more than critical position at this point." He shook his head, still angry with himself for having acted so thoughtlessly.
"There isn't much that can be really done now, I guess." Tigris confirmed with a quiet sigh, dropping on the bed next to him. "When will they make your betrayal public?"
"Soon, I fear: I have the feeling Highbottom will have it announced by the end of tomorrow." Coriolanus bit his own tongue to avoid speak more words, his teeth clenching so hard they cut right through the skin and filled his mouth with a metallic taste.
Their family name, the only thing they got left untarnished, was about to be annihilated for good, along with the limited members whom had had the honor of bearing it along with him.
Tigris hid her face in her hands with a barely audible sound of grief.
She looked as desperate as him.
Coriolanus regarded her in silence for a moment: he'd never seen her so beaten, even in the hardest moments she'd always been the one able to cheer everyone up and find a way to save the day, but apparently, those times were long gone.
"There's another reason why I needed to talk to you." He muttered, his ice blue eyes still cast to the floor between his feet.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean" the blonde cleared his throat slightly before continuing. "There might be a way to avoid public condemnation and possibly undo my expulsion."
Well, the latter one could've been, to put it mildly, their most favorable scenario, but he didn't want to let his cousin's hopes down for the moment.
"Really?"
"Supposedly." Coriolanus emphasized, backtracking a little, not daring to feel over-confident basing only on what Dr. Gaul had told him: it could've been a blatant lie or an attempt to make him run in circles like one of her 'pets', after all.
"... But it would come at a certain price."
"Oh" his cousin sighed, her eyes taking briefly a glassy stance before returning to their normal golden-brown.
"Of course it would. It always does." She whispered so lowly Coriolanus almost didn't hear her. "You know, I always hoped that you would never have to experience it firsthand like I did."
The blonde's eyebrows arched in surprise: Tigris was being quite candid with him on the subject, something which had happened only a couple other times, in the past.
He wasn't sure he could actually appreciate the feeling.
"Well, like you said, sometimes we have to do things we're not proud of." He attempted another look at her, experiencing a new pang of guilt when he'd noticed the brown circles under her eyes, similar to the ones she'd had on the Reaping day, when she'd overworked herself to make him look presentable among the other mentors.
Quite uselessly, given how the circumstances had turned out to be, in the end.
"I did. You remembered." Tigris smiled, her countenance lighting up briefly at the realization.
"How could I forget? I was being judgmental towards you and..."
"Lucy Gray."
"Yes, her. I really shouldn't have." The blonde's attention shifted back to the floor: he found it quite difficult to think about Lucy Gray now without cursing himself, yet, he held no hard feelings for her, and he hoped she didn't as well.
"She will be fine, she is a tough girl." Tigris comforted him, guessing the grim thoughts that had just crossed his head. "It's you I worry about the most, to be honest."
"Don't. I can be tough too, you know." Coriolanus scowled. "Besides, running away is not an option, cousin."
And saying those words out loud made him suddenly realize the reason why he hadn't been able to enroll with the Peacekeepers that afternoon; all he had was here.
"I know you are." Tigris stated, warmly. "But sometimes the stakes are just too high. Is this chance to make amend concrete?"
"It's a solid possibility." Coriolanus couldn't help but cast hope in his words once more, sounding a lot more confident than he actually was.
His cousin nodded and placed one of her calloused hands on top of his, squeezing it lightly.
"Well, there you have it, then. Just, please, be very careful, all right?"
"I will."
Coriolanus regarded her kind face with a long look, a sudden surge of fierceness running right across his body, reviving it.
"Snow lands on top!" he crowed, before heading back to the living room.
"Snow lands on top." He heard Tigris whisper behind him, as he crossed the threshold of his bedroom door.