All Things Go

I Lied |

Aolani Malana Alei

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"I am not your usual typical type... Who would protect me if I never hide?"

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I awoke to see it was almost twelve in the afternoon. Jahron must not have come home last night, which I'm perfectly fine with. Usually, he'd make me wake up to clean at seven. Regardless of whomever he was entertaining, he would be back soon; unfortunately.

I had a pounding headache, which instantly made me regret taking it to the head yesterday.

But when you're dealing wit somebody like Jahron, you have to find some way to cope.

I jumped at the sound of the bedroom door open. How did I even make it upstairs let alone change out my dress?

I braced myself for the pain I was about to endure, since I hadn't done my chores yet, but was surprised when I was lifted out the bed.

"Don't be afraid, it's just me."

I sighed in relief when I recognized the voice.

"How'd you get in here?" I asked, my voice raspy.

"The front door was unlocked. I came to check on you since you skipped out on work."

Amir King has been my best friend since I moved to California from Hawaii at five-years-old.

From the moment I introduced Amir to Jahron in eleventh grade, they have hated each other.

"Mir!" I exclaimed, referring to my best friend. I never preferred to hang out with females. They were too messy and dramatic, only worried about the next designer purse that was dropping or what the next person was doing. And some of them simply weren't right. My last female friend, Sheylah, was only my friend to get attention from Amir in tenth grade. I figured that out when she started acting sour towards me after he started giving her attention. Their thing didn't last long, though. Amir would never allow his companion to treat me wrong.

"I have someone I want you to meet," I smiled.

Amir glanced up from his phone and locked his eyes on Jahron.

"Who you, bro?"

"Jahron. What's up?"

Amir made a face, one I couldn't exactly read. Somewhere between confused and angry.

"You got a problem, or what?" Jahron then said as Amir looked him up and down.

Amir nodded and replied, "Yeah... I heard about you, and you ain't all that, my dude."

"Is that so? I think you just mad 'cause lil' mama want me and not you?"

That was all he had to say for Amir to send one blow to his face.

From that day on, the two could not even be within ten feet of one another.

That's how deep their hatred ran.

And when Amir found out about the abuse three years ago, on my twenty-first birthday, he was ready to kill Jahron.

But at the time, I was still so deep in love with Jahron. He wasn't as established as he is now, then. Therefore, his nasty attitude, temper and ego were nonexistent.

Amir carefully sat me on the toilet seat, then went over to the bathtub to run water. He made it steaming hot like I preferred, and even put bubbles and flower petals in it.

"What are you waiting for?" I asked Amir when I noticed he was just staring at me.

He rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.

"You. I need to help you in the tub before I go get you something to eat."

I rolled my eyes. "Jahron will have a fit."

"I don't see his bitch ass here helping you. Now hurry up, it's not like I haven't seen it all before."

I giggled and replied, "That was eight years ago, I'm sure I've matured more."

At the age of sixteen, I lost my virginity to Amir. We were both young and single; we were both curious.

I don't regret it because we're still friends to this day.

One would think we'd evolve into something more, but a year after that I was with Jahron so it didn't even matter.

I tried to remove my shirt, but my arms hurt more and more with each movement.

"Help me please," I glanced at Amir with saddened eyes.

It was extremely embarrassing to even be going through this.

He chuckled and came over to me, slowly and carefully taking my clothes off. When he got to my panties, my stomach immediately filled with butterflies. I think all females get that feeling. It's just something about the pelvis area.

His warm hands gradually caressed my legs as he pulled them down to my feet. He pulled them off and looked up at me with a sly smirk on his face.

I didn't like what he was doing at all, simply because he knew I yearned for a man's touch; in an affectionate way.

It was no secret Amir had feelings for me, but I often ignored them because I refused to be in another failed relationship.

The same way Jahron loved and cared for me at first, is the same way Amir loves and cares for me now.

But who's to say he won't change a few years later?

Once Amir placed me in the tub, I felt so much better. Every wound I had burned like hell, but I almost felt refreshed.

"You need help washing up?"

I scoffed and shook my head. "I'm not crippled, Amir."

"Did I say you were? Nah, so cut the attitude. As your best friend, I'm not about to let you stay on your kitchen floor with an empty bottle of alcohol in your hand. As your best friend, I'm going to take care of you until I feel I shouldn't anymore."

I yelled back, "I didn't ask for you to help me, Amir! 'My goodness, you're always trying to be someone's damn superman!"

"If it wasn't for me, Lani... You'd be six feet under. Let's be real."

I laughed to myself and laid my head back. "I'm not a charity case," I said quieter than before. "I'm not someone who deserves the pain I have to endure." I paused and looked away from Amir, towards the wall. "I'm a good person. I don't litter, I pay my taxes, I feed the homeless. Why me?"

"Lani-"

"No... Please stop, Amir. Go. I don't want to be a burden, I don't want you dedicating your life to me. For the past twenty years I've known you that's all you've ever done. Be happy, go get a wife and have kids. You deserve it."

I didn't realize I was crying until I blinked and my vision became clouded.

"I was going to tell you today that... I'm moving to New York to be with my grandmother. She's sick."

I turned back towards him. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow," he said so quietly it was almost inaudible.

I hesitantly nodded in agreement. "Good."

I tried to hide my discomfort with the news, but he saw right through it. "I'm in love with you, Aolani. You know that."

"I do and I honestly can say I don't feel the same."

Was I really being honest?

No.

I lied, to keep him from breaking my heart.

Do I regret it?

No.

Will I regret it?

Probably.

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