'Mummy' Everyone turned around to see Shilah rubbing her eyes on the steps.
'Whats up baby?' I said while walking towards her and the picking her up.
'Who's shouting? They woke me up' She said while resting her head on my shoulder and rubbing her eyes.
'Umm it was the tv baby' I lied.
'Hello auntie Kerri' Shilah said while rubbing her eyes again.
'Hi shy' She mumbled.
'Mummy... when's daddy coming back from holiday... I miss him' Shilah said while crying.
'I don't know Shy, I miss him too' I said trying to stop myself from crying.
'You need to go' I said. 'Both of u' I finished.
Just at that moment I felt like breaking down, but I kept strong for Shilah.
'But tish - ' 'No Luke can you both leave' I said, I walked upstairs with Shilah and put her back to bed and went into my bed.
I lay in bed thinking. What have I been doing. Me and Luke... hasn't been right. He's Andre's best friend and I'm Andre's girlfriend. I'm having his baby. I just miss Andre soo much. I blocked out all the bad things and thought about seeing Andre and our baby when I have it. I was thinking about whether the baby will be a girl or boy and who it would look like. I was starting to get excited and blocked out everything else.
I drifted off to sleep but then I was woken up from a sharp and horrible pain in my stomach. It was a horrible pain, I would say the worst pain but nothing can beat child birth.
I tried to brush off the pain, but it was too much. There was no one around me. Not Andre. Not Luke. No one.
I pulled the quilt to the side and moved me leg. I could feel something wet on my legs, I then knew something was wrong. I ran to the light switch and turned it on. I looked on the bed and it was covered with blood. Tears trickled down my face, I wanted to scream from the pain and how scared I was, but it would wake up the kids and I didn't want them to see this. I quickly ran for my phone, I went through my contacts and found.
'Tish what isit? Its 5 in the morning' He said with his voice croaking.
'Luke I need you to come to my house. Please. Now' I said quickly.
'Alrite im on my way' He said and then hung up the phone.
10Minutes later Luke arrived, he let himself in with his key and ran up the stairs and burst into my room. I was sat on the floor with my head in my hands, with tears running down my face. He looked at me and then at the bed.
'Tish?' He said traumatised. I just looked at him and burst into tears. He got his phone out and called someone. I didn't know who it was; I didn't know what was going out. I was
frozen, all I could feel was the terrible pain in my stomach and the baby that I knew I was loosing. Luke put a coat on me and put my slippers on. I don't know how long after, Keri ran up the stairs, she also looked at the bed and then at me with tears in her eyes. I just looked away and cried.
She just held me in her eyes. I could tell she was crying because I could feel her tears fall on my head. 'The ambulance is on its way. Keri go with Tish to the hospital and ill stay with the kids' Luke said while changing the sheets.
The ambulance came and I was rushed to hospital with Keri and everything was just blocked out until the Doctor got my attention. All I could remember him saying was... 'Sorry Letisha there was nothing we could do'
All that was going around in my head was.
Sorry Letisha there was nothing we could do. Sorry Letisha there was nothing we could do. Sorry Letisha there was nothing we could do. Sorry Letisha there was nothing we could do.
'What caused it?' Keri asked with tears running down her face, she held onto my hand. 'We couldn't find a cause for this, unfortunately these things happen. I'm sorry' He said.
I turned my head away from them both and moved my hand from Keri. 'Tish... im sooo sorry babe. I'm hear for you' She said. I didn't reply I just laid there and cried. Is life ever going to get better for me? One thing after another... I really cant take this.
Keri left after staying with me for a few hours, even though I didn't talk to her, she was there.
I laid there without sleeping or moving. I was getting tired of the tired of looking at the walls in the hospital. I put on my slippers detached all the tubes and put on my coat and walked out. 'Miss Brown, you are not ready to leave yet, the doctor still needs-' 'Can you leave me alone' I said before walking past her and walking out the hospital. Im walking round the hospital gown, a coat and slippers, but I simply didn't care.
Everyone was staring at me like I was crazy but I didn't care, I just kept walking.
'Excuse mi young lady' I looked to my left to see a little old black woman looking at me, I just looked at her.
'Uh alright? Look pan uh... uh have blood a run from uh arms dem' I looked at my hand, there was blood dripping down my hand from where I pulled the drip out my hand.
'Come wid me mek mi clean uh up and put some clothes pon uh, uh look about the same size as mi granddaughter, come come' She said walking ahead, I followed behind her. We got to a block of flats, she lived on the bottom floor. I followed behind her and sat in the front room. 'Stay there let me get uh some clothes and ill clean up uh hand dem' She said while making her way upstairs. She came back down with a sponge and water and some clothes.
She cleaned up my hands and left me to put some clothes on. 'Uh hungry?' She said while peeping her head around the door. I shook my head. 'Well uh look it stay there let me guh cook uh sum food. Yuh look tired, lay down and take a nap' She said while handing my the blanket. I followed her instructions and laid down. 'Ohh yeeh my names Lydia' She said. 'Thank you Lydia' I replied, quietly. 'That's the first time yuh talk since uh come Letisha. We both have names that begin with L' she replied and giggled. 'How did u know my name?' I said confused. 'Your name deh pon the tag the hospital put on uh hand' She said. 'Ohh' 'Food soon ready' She said.
After waiting a while I drifted off to sleep again, I was woken up by the smell of the food.
'You ready to eat?' Lydia asked me.
'Thanks but I'm not hungry' I said to her. 'Thanks for the clothes and stuff ill bring them back as soon as possible' I said while putting my shoes on and getting ready to leave. 'So your not going to eat?' She asked. 'No thanks' I replied.
'Tish... Jesus loves you' She said.
'Thank you' I said before walking out the door.
I managed to find my way back onto the main roads and continued to walk back home, still in my slippers.
By the time I got home it was dark outside. I knocked on the door and Luke opened it.
'TISH! Where you been?! The hospital told me you walked out... how did you get here?'
'Walked' I replied
'YOU WALKED 10MILES?!' He said shocked.
'Yeeh..' I replied with no emotion.
'Come sit down. You hungry?' He said while leading me into the house.
'No im fine. I just wanna be on my own' I said. I walked up the stairs into my room and on my bed and burst into tears.
My baby... its gone! I would do anything to bring it back. I was looking forward to having this baby.
Sorry Letisha there was nothing we could do. Unfortunately these things happen... these words ran through my head over and over and over again while I gripped to the bed sheets and cried.
