Splitting One's Soul

Honey, Smoke & Parchment

Just as you closed the door to your apartment behind you, someone knocked on it. You were tired and really not in the mood to interact with anyone else anymore but they must have seen you come home, there was no hiding. When you opened the door, Tom leaned against the door frame with a sad smile on his face.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize," he said and pushed past you into the living room.

"Did you watch my apartment?"

"You were right," Tom continued, ignoring your question. "I was disappointed, I enjoy working with you, so when you decided you'd rather do something else I took it personally and that was wrong."

This you had not seen coming, whenever you two had a disagreement he'd just act as if nothing happened the next day. Now he stood in the middle of the room and looked like a sad puppy, pulling at your heartstrings.

"Alright. But you might need to get used to the idea that I won't be available at all times to you," you said, your fingers were itching to rake through his hair and cradle his head, to give him some comfort.

Tom slipped off his coat, laid it over a kitchen chair and then got comfortable on your couch, oblivious to your current state, not to mention that he was acting as if this was his home.

"You're staying?"

"I would like to discuss these things with you, if you let me," he replied. "Boundaries and such."

Not the best time for this but it couldn't hurt to get that out of the way so you sank into the cushions next to him.

"How was the date?"

"It was nice," you told him, not a lie but you could hardly tell him the whole truth.

"Was it really that terrible?"

"What? I didn't say that."

The smirk on his lips assured you that he could see through your bullshit, just some days ago you would have used that opportunity but you decided it would be best to at least put some emotional distance between you two.

"Maybe I'll even see him again," you added, Mason might actually be a good distraction even though the first date was not what you had dreamed of. "Seems like you will have to share me, sorry."

Tom's face twisted into the same cold, hard expression he had the day before, just for a split second until his features softened again, but enough for you to notice.

"Let's not talk about that anymore," he said. "Why don't I make us some tea and then we talk about our work?"

You agreed, he headed into your kitchen while you busied yourself with the book he had given you when you moved in, the sound of boiling and bubbling water coming from the kitchen behind you had a calming effect. You flipped through the pages, stopping whenever you spotted a drawing that caught your interest until you were distracted by a cup floating directly in front of your face. Tom had his own in his hands when he sat back down, this time so close to you that your bodies were touching.

"My special brew."

You grabbed your cup, the tea appeared to have a pearly sheen, probably a trick played by the light and tried to identify the liquid by smell. The steam rising from it had the sweet smell of honey and smoke, the third note you identified as old parchment or books but that couldn't be, it must have either been your own book or Tom sitting too close, overshadowing the tea with his own scent.

Cautiously, to not burn your tongue, you took a sip, the tea was delicious and sweet and you took another sip and another. Tom still held his cup and watched you. Finally, you put down your almost empty cup, you felt the warmth spread in your chest and when you looked over to Tom your heart started hammering in your ribcage. And then it hit you with such clarity, you didn't need more distance, you needed less. Far less. You wanted to be his forever.