Until Ava

Chapter Four

'Ah Mama, you like this. I said I did not drink.'

'Then how come your entire outfit stunk of alcohol? You walked home, young lady, in case you don't remember! You're not mad – not yet at least - so you must have been drunk! How can you try to lie that you didn't even take a sip of alcohol after all that evidence? Even your wig was drenched, Esi.'

I sighed.

I had woken up but some twenty minutes earlier to curtains being drawn, sunlight reaching for and holding my face in a soft caress, coaxing my eyes open, and then making me squint immediately. A warm voice laced with concern had called my name, told me to sit up, and to eat breakfast. Kind hands had placed a tray in my lap, and the voice urged me to take a bite of this and a sip of that. I'd opened my eyes, first.

It was Mama. The sun stretched her rays behind her, attempting to envelop her but not fully being able to, as her unending embrace extended into the open space. She highlighted the silver-grey strands that sat atop my mother's head, and put some light to her round brown face that looked like experience and wisdom; the round brown face that was stubborn, and defiant to old age. Evelyn Tooley Hunt's lovely masterpiece, Mama Is a Sunrise came at once to mind, and I smiled – chuckled softly, even - at having been woken up by sunrise, just in time to see the sunrise. But my sunrise did not smile back.

She'd sat quietly, beside me, watching me as I nibbled at the sandwich, disappointment and hurt in her eyes. So I asked her why. At first she shook her head, but she didn't have to say anything. I knew she had assumed.

I had only been to the club. I had not drunk, had not smoked, had not even slept with anyone, but my mother still looked at me with those eyes. And I knew, before I even told her the truth that she was not going to believe me. She did not disappoint.

I sighed again.

'Mama,' I tried explaining, 'some waiter bumped into me and the drinks poured all over me. See, my eyes are squinted because some of the alcohol got into them.'

'Hmm...'

'Oh, Mama Esther? I promised you I wouldn't drink or smoke again, and I haven't. I haven't o. It's been years since I last did!'

'So why then did you go there?'

'But I asked you. And you said you thought it was a brilliant idea to go with my friend and try to clear my head.'

'That means you should go and find some fresh air to take in! Not sit in a club where God will turn his eyes away from you, Esi!'

'Mama, seriously? It's not such a big deal. Besides, the club wasn't in the initial plan. It was a bar, but then Dallas-'

'That doesn't make it any better, ah. Listen to that,' she squelched, 'stop walking with that Dollars girl.'

'Ei? Now you're telling me who I should and shouldn't walk with?'

'Yes. I am. In case you forgot that too, I am still your mummy.' She paused a beat, and then continued, 'You're old enough, I know, but I'm also a concerned Kingdom citizen. How can you call yourself a Christian and walk with such people? Go to a club almost naked, sit in the company of scoffers, Esi? Drink and get boozed and walk home exhausted and intoxicated? Reeking of smoke too?'

'Mama, I did not drink. I did not smoke. Ei. Just believe me, Mama. Blessed is he who believes without seeing, or?'

This time it was Mama who sighed.

'Simone, I understand what you're going through. The same thing happened with me, so I know what's going on with you,' she placed an arm around my shoulder, trying to pull me close. I tried resisting, but she pulled me in anyway.